Depression is a fickle thing, it likes to keep you guessing. One day you can feel ok; get up, have breakfast, be relatively normal for a whole twelve hours. The next day you might not be able to move out of bed at all for feeling so despairing.
For me, it’s the ups and the downs that make it hard to live with. I can only imagine how hard (not to mention stressful) it must be for those who care for people that are suffering. Good days are often spent wasted, waiting for the bad to pounce.
During some bad phases I have managed to blog, and it has actually kept me going a bit. It provides focus and release and most importantly, contact without me having to paint on a smile or brush my hair.
Sometimes you simply can’t blog through it though and I recently decided to write about something completely different – rather than allow myself to think about how bad I was feeling for long enough to articulate, I decided to lose myself in something else.
How do you feel about writing during a particularly hard time? Does it help you work through your feelings, to accept them through seeing them in black and white or do you prefer to shut down or focus on something else?
Don’t forget, as well as showcasing here you can link your posts up to the Grand Love Mental Health Blog Hop running for the whole of 2012.
Introduction written by I Want My Mummy.
In A Bundance – Stroking the black dog
“And I write this to encourage all of you out there who are stroking the Black Dog, who endure the gray days with a Blitz spirit, as I do.” Vegimite Vix
When Carol from Dance Without Sleeping asked if I’d mind holding a mental health carnival, I agreed in an instant.
Mental illness, of all shades, just doesn’t get talked about enough. There’s still a stigma, so anything that raises understanding and awareness has to be good.
(Just) Above Average Mum – A blip
I used to be one of those people who used to revel in having time on their own. I went to New York City on my own a few years ago and I loved the fact that I was a tiny blip in a big city. Walking for blocks and blocks exploring the neighbourhoods, only talking to people when it was necessary. I enjoyed life then.
Right now, I’d love for someone, anyone to tell me it’s going to be ok. I’m not looking for advice or constructive ways on how to deal with things.
And PND Makes Three – I Ain’t Goin Out Like This
I was supposed to be going out with a group of friends tonight. We were supposed to be going to a Bar and then possibly Dancing.Up until today, I was looking forward to it. Then the Gremlins began chipping in -‘You can’t go out with them – you’ll have nothing to say.’ ‘You can’t go out with them – they’re all beautiful and you…well, you swore you weren’t going to let yourself go, but..’.’You can’t go out. Let alone with them. No-one really wants to spend any time with you, they’re just inviting you out of obligation…or pity’.
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Older Single Mum – Whether to Employ a Cleaner?
This is a subject close to my heart – whether to employ a cleaner? I have employed one for many years on and off, but preferably on, by a long chalk.
Money is tight, but so is my energy. Fraught is what many mothers are, – single or not, working or ‘not ‘- much of the time, especially those of us who are isolated from our families, for whatever purpose
All this stuff raising awareness of Post Natal Depression (PND) has been plying on my mind. It is particularly prevalent at the moment, both as a concept and as …
Romanian mum in London – Words of Wisdom and about failure
The bad thing about depression is that most of the time you feel like a failure.
Your child has a tantrum you feel like a failure. Your child wets himself you feel like a failure. Your husband annoys you and again you feel like a failure.
I talk about myself now and I’m not sure if it’s the same for you. Every day and
Nearly Everything but the Kitchen Sink – My Letter
It’s ok to have a bad day everyone-everyone else does.
It’s ok not to be perfect. Who have you met that is? Brilliant, yes. Perfect, no. Your mum was not perfect. Your nanny was not perfect. So why do you have to be?
Everyone has a tough time sometimes.
Tomorrow is a brand new day.
You have a happy and contented baby.
So you must be doing something right.
That means that you can relax.
Your more rational brain
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Older Mum (In A Muddle) – Bon Voyage Baby Milk – The Reason
I’ve recently discovered, backed up by my GP’s opinion, that I’ve a sensitivity to the hormone, progesterone. After some research I uncovered that a sensitivity to progesterone reduces levels of the feel good hormone, serotonin, and increases the levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. This is an unwelcome recipe for restless sleep, mood swings, depression, aggression and all manner of unpleasant personality traits. And this has been me, on and off, for that last two years. Sound grand company don’t I?
I Want My Mummy – I (Don’t) Know
I know when things are going downhill.
I know when I’m being quieter, when I’m starting to live life inside my head rather than in reality. I know when little things start feeling like a huge effort. I know when negativity starts to punctuate every other thought. I know when it’s harder and harder for me to get out of bed. I know when my whole body becomes heavier and physically aches. I know when I feel hopeless, lost, ready to run away…
Purplemum – Baking My Way Out.
A couple of weeks ago I hit a milestone I was not thrilled to hit. This admission to the mother and baby unit has become the longest of my three admissions. Then things got a little worse when the two women who had been admitted alongside me in November got discharged. I do understand that their illness and length of recovery is irrelevant to mine, but I was jealous. They get to restart their lives and I’m still stuck in limbo, feeling rotten.
Snoo & Me – Coming Out
I have a younger brother who ‘came out’ 2 years ago. We had all known for a Long time before he told us that he was gay. Nobody was surprised about this ‘admission’, we were happy that he felt confident with himself and comfortable telling us all.
My ‘coming out’ felt very different. Depression and mental health issues are STILL surrounded by stigma. I knew my telling my family would be met by scepticism and a barrage of questions. I feared that I may be accused of being over dramatic, that I would be told to pull myself together.