I’m Counting UFOs – Wot So Funee? Logic from a three year old
Last night my husband was in Birmingham over night at some kind of worky-style conference thing. Ruby reckons his absence gives her licence to stay up late, muck about, make diva-eqsue demands of chocolate Nesquik in her Little Mermaid cup, and generally be a bit of a monkey about going to bed.
It’s the same every single time. I put her in bed, read her a story, kiss her goodnight and tuck her in. She waits until I have just poured myself a drink
Hello Wall…. – The Indoor Play Centre aka Hell’s Portal
I found myself in a place I try to avoid whenever possible. The indoor play centre. Just the thought of them makes me want to shower in dettol. The freak me out more than The Wiggles do. Admittedly, I was impressed my the hand-sanitiser by the entrance door. My kids disappeared into the maze of nets, large dangly things and the compulsory 8 year old boy who brings new meaning to the word ‘boisterous’.
As ever, there was a diverse selection of parents to observe…..
DorkyMum – Peppa Pig does Bedtime
It is only a few months since DorkySon had no interest in watching TV. I could see other mothers raising their eyebrows at me when I said that he just wasn’t bothered, that not even the delights of Bob the Builder or Fireman Sam could persuade him to spend more than a fidgety few minutes in front of the box, before wandering off to find a book.
“Aye right,” they were thinking. “You’re just no fun, DorkyMum, not letting your wee boy watch the occasional bit of trash on the telly.”
(Nearly!) Perfect Mother – Kid Wife Crisis
I am writing this wearing a pair of maternity jeggings. I am not pregnant.
In the last 24 hours, I have been told ‘You’s got hairy bottom’ by my two year old and ‘Your teeth are yellow (when actually mummy, they should be white’) by my four year old.
Nothing like children to take a sledgehammer to your blissful ignorance.
I’m feeling frumpy. I’m feeling fat. I can’t fit into any of my…
Romanian mum in London – Building our dream
Not sure how to start this post… Some of you might know that we are planning to move in Romania at some point. At the moment we live in London. My husband is English but he loves Romania and my family so at the moment we are renovating a home next to my parents house. We are not sure when we are going to move here but we are sure that we want our daughter to grow up close to her grandparents-my parents.
The Diary of a Lagos Mum – Good Music
Since we’ve been here (in Dubai (on holiday), I’ve had the opportunity to listen to a *lot* of music. English, Indian, Arabic. The lot.
It has been *so* good to listen to old and new music – songs that I’ve not listened to in a long while and songs that I’ve heard for the first time (although they’ve not necessarily been new).
Flossing the Cat – SEX IN A COLD CLIMATE
Normally I’m a fun-loving kind of gal. I like playing mummies and daddies. I like doing the matrimonial polka. I like taking a turn on the hobbyhorse.
I say normally, because there are three exceptions to this rule. These are a) during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy; b) during any episode of d&v but especially when it’s that motherfucker Norovirus; c) when it’s cold.
There is NO WAY I’m lifting up my petticoats and/or traditional cotton winceyette full-length long-sleeved nightdress* in this weather.
Trouble Doubled – The downside of having twins
Now I’m feeling a little bit sorry for myself today. It’s been one of those days where we’ve just pottered round the house, watching the twins play and trying not to get drawn in to the crap on the television. We’ve had a lot of these days lately. The weather doesn’t help. It makes it really hard to get out and about, and we end up just counting down the hours until school pick up time so we’ve got somewhere different to go
Purplemum – The Birthday Party
When the party was all over and the house back to perfect order my children and I would curl up on the sofa, which would have changed from nearly collapsed blue and saggy, to purple velvet and in perfect order.
However returning to the real world I am mum to three small children. I am rubbish at crafts. Some days simply keeping up with the laundry is an impossible task. I am chasing my tail and if I attempted this challenge it might just push me over the edge!
Mammasaurus – What’s the most unglamorous thing you did this weekend?
Hmmm well maybe my most unglamorous moment was in the garden on Saturday morning when I ventured into the garden in the rain to pick up rained on soggy dog pooh…or maybe when Sherman (see picture) shook his head so hard the drool flicked up into my face in a Beethoven stylee…or could it be the moment in Waitrose where I bent over to pick up a packet of ginger nuts and let out possibly the squeakiest high pitch fart the world has ever known…
Mum2BabyInsomniac – Stuff The Routine
Those of you who follow routines like your lives depend on it might be unable to read much further because I am about to confess something…..
I HATE ROUTINES
For a while when Iyla was a baby I was tricked into thinking that we needed one. Apparently babies like ‘routines’ and are more likely to sleep at night when they are in one – well not my baby!
Cheetahs In My Shoes – Highs & Lows of 2011
What was your happiest event?
Being on holiday as a family and realising that I was enjoying being with my children rather than just looking after/managing/transporting them. Oh, and seeing the Cheetah Keeper’s sister being the most gorgeous bridesmaid for my sister.
Me He & Them – A Perfect Woman
I want to be a perfect woman! And although this is something I always aim, once again this is going to be my New Year Resolution.
I’m going to be a perfect mum, a perfect wife and a perfect housewife. I actually don’t think it is possible, it’s just not me but I can try to do my best.
You probably wonder why I would want to be perfect, what I would want to put so much stress on myself, and I have to admit I have no answer.
Housegoeshome – Slummy mummy
Is it ’giving up’ to wear cargo pants every day? How about if they’re dirty? Each morning, I sift through the pile of clothes on the bathroom floor and think: hmmmm, the black, the navy, or the green? Then I dig around in my drawers for a T-shirt to go with them. Preferably one that skims the gut rather than clings to it. And, finally, should it to be the black Havianas or the brown ones? Decisions, decisions …
Adventures of a Middle-Aged Matron – Infant Philosophy
What am I?’ asks my son.
‘A boy,’ I reply, not listening.
‘What’s a boy?’
‘A boy is someone with a … A boy is human who is male.’
‘What’s a yewmanooizmale?’
My daughter is pondering separate cosmic mysteries on the sofa.
‘Why does cat poo smell?’
These untiring interrogations exasperate me. They distract me from the serious business of the White Stuff catalogue or the Met Office weather bulletin. They also unnerve me, for their infant logic exposes the vastness of my own unknowingness.
Fishfingers for tea – Silence
Hear that? No? That’s the point. Silence. Apart from a ticking clock and tapping on the keyboard I can hear nothing. I used to hate silence. It would make me uncomfortable and I would have to switch some music on so I didn’t feel alone. Now? I crave it.
Dear Beautiful Boy – a birth story – part eleven
I had so wanted to have positive experiences at the birthing centre.
I had liked the small, community feel of it when I had looked round when I was pregnant.
I wanted my husband to be able to stay overnight with us on the first night.
I wanted visitors to come and go without visiting hours.
I wanted to have my baby in the same hospital where my brother had been born
and where I had spent the first two weeks of my life.
But the most positive thing that happened to me at the birthing centre
was making the decision to leave.
love . inspiration . style . happiness – rain rain go away
I discovered something though, having your face painted by mummy is fun BUT painting your mummy’s face is SO much more fun! She spent ages painting my face and laughing as she did it. I did have to swallow the urge to say “right that’s enough” as I got a huge splash of wet red paint on my eyelid but oh she was having so much fun and well it washed off (in the end).
The Daily Mum – Is it a good idea for mums to give up work?
And so the debate rages on: to work or to stay at home. Every mother’s million dollar question. Some reports say children are healthier if mums work, some say it’s bad for children to start nursery too young. Who knows. Tossing a coin or consulting the magic eight ball would give you more accurate guidance.
Goldilocks And My Three Bears – Erm, How Old Is My Son Again?
I am a terrible mother. I know it, you know it and the whole damn world knows it. It gets confirmed every time I have to see one of those damn health visitors who quite often do NOT have children and are just regurgitating what they read in a textbook. (Actually, my current one is nice, has her own kids and does not speak to me like crap, but never mind!)
Mummy Musings – Those Unexpected Fun Hours
As much as I want to spend every hour playing with C, it’s just not possible. For a start I have to go out to work three days a week, then if I’m not at work there’s the housework; laundry, hoovering, dusting, ironing, cooking which all take up far too much time, then I have to walk the dog, make sure we visit the grandparents, take the library books back and do the food shopping.
Now obviously I sometimes just stick the washer on and ignore the pile of dishes in the sink but I can’t do that every day
Here come the Girls – Warning: They Bite
The twins are going through a stage at the moment – a biting stage. They are 13 months so they don’t really have the understanding to sit on a naughty step so it’s hard to know what to do. The main times they bite are when someone is snatching off them or stopping them doing something they want to do (like bang on the keyboard). They have bitten each other, their big sister, their dad and me.
Mummy Plum – The Buggy War
We had been in the house all day, outside it had been raining non-stop. There was a break in the clouds, a reprieve from the downpour. The kitchen cupboard, like that of old Mother Hubbard, was bare, and we needed food for supper. We had to go out. A quick dash to the shops was all that was needed. I reasoned we could be back in 45 minutes. Stress was mounting; we’d spent the last ten minutes in deadlock.
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Actually Mummy… – Social Stereotypes in the Playground
My playground partner (the person I line up with when we come back in) is Derek*. He’s ok, but he’s a boy – he can be painful. Arabella has to line up with Frank – he’s the same. Frank and Derek like to play together, but often fall out and fight. Sigourney’s match is Malcolm. Throw him into the mix and and someone invariably gets injured.
An Essex Wife – The Wife is Back
3 weeks have passed since Baby Essex was born and I can finally say I feel like myself again. I’m back in my pre-pregnancy clothes, have a had a night out with my friends and I’m getting 5 hour blocks of sleeps through the night….all is good in this Essex household!!
So…..IM BACK! I’m sure you all missed me???
lovebryony.co.uk // Girl, Boy, Baby and Cat – Hit and miss sleep training
Since a particularly bad week of sleep a few weeks ago we’ve been sleep training Francesca. Her previous pattern started when we got back from holiday in September and consisted of sleeping 7pm to 1am, waking for a bottle for an hour and then waking for the day at 4:30am for the day screaming her little lungs out. Not only did me and Dean feel like we were just floating through the day but our little girl was also extremely unsettled all the time.
Older Mum (In A Muddle) – Bloody Baked Beans And Secrets I Shouldn’t Divulge
I am cunning as a crafty fox and the mouse in the Gruffalo. During the heady early days of my relationship with Younger Dad I slyly tricked him into believing that giant dinosaur hamsters once roamed the earth. He bought it hook line and sinker. Bless him. He was so loved up and misty eyed that he was rendered defenceless against my wily tales. He was not amused when I fessed up. Now whenever he is hit upon by a viral bout of gullibility I always remind him much to his continued annoyance of the ‘dinosaur hamster’.
Views From The Lounge Window – It’s as easy as ABC or DD,E,or F (cup) !
It’s funny, but I’ve always been self conscious of the size of my boobs and have spent years trying to choose clothes that hide them, wearing minimiser bras and the like, but all they do is squash your boobs under your armpits, which is not the most attractive of looks ! And while I know my boobs are the envy of many a less well endowed lady, I’ve now kind of worn tired of them; and I mean both physically and emotionally tired !
Tricky Customer – I get by with a little help from my (cyber) friends
I’ve been quite surprised by how helpful and supportive I’ve found twitter and reading other people’s blogs. We’ve been plodding along in our little bubble just the three of us, only occasionally letting people in. We do have very supportive and kind friends and family, but we are so aware that they don’t really get it, as much as they really do try, they really don’t get what it is like to be in our world.
Chloe Witters – When none of your friends have children
‘I’ll be a really good babysitter….And I won’t even get drunk/get the baby drunk/spike the baby’s bottle’.
Everyone I know said a variation on this theme. Good joke. Don’t give up your day jobs.
Pretty much from the day he was born:
‘So, you can drink again now, right?’
‘We need to get you drunk ASAP!’
On the subject of babysitters and going out in the evening:
‘Yeah but at that age (1+) once they’re asleep they’re asleep for the night, aren’t they?’
I bloody wish.
PS, do you know ANY parents??
Mummy Whisperer Blog – Join the Revolution: help Mums stand together, rather than slag each other off
I’ve got a plan for a revolution. First starting with mummy bloggers, and then spreading out into the world. It’s your revolution too, so I’d like to know what you’d prefer to call it.
So what’s the idea?
1) To strengthen the position of Mums in society.
2) To encourage Mums to feel strong and confident in our differences
3) To help them to appreciate that given different circumstances and different shoes, they might be different too
Mari’s World – Twins – 3 and a half
It’s Twin Talk time and the last was back in the October half term with a run down on how they’d taken to pre-school. Well I can say hand on heart they love it – preschool that is, they have made lots of friends and talk about them constantly at home. Main subjects they seem to talk about when referring to their friends are parties and house visits. All of their friends apparently want to visit our house!
Pint-Sized Rants – A rant about scary baby toys
I have given many a noisy gift to babies over the years. It has always been with a smirk that I have wrapped up a music player, or a keyboard. And it appears karma exists, and my mischief is coming back to haunt me. My daughter has been given talking books, loud keyboards and flashy shrill balls. I have been promised drum kits and toy guitars.
And that’s fine, actually. Except when they turn evil.
Simplyoutnumbered – Yet another skill to master!
There seems to be a never ending list of skills to master as a mum! This week I attempted taking scissors to hair… my son’s hair. His gorgeous ginger lady locks!
There has been an argument ongoing in the house for the last 6-8 months about the length of his hair. Mommy = cut that hair, Daddy = leave him be! It took the little man being referred to 3x in one morning as a little girl at toddler group for daddy to finally concede defeat! Word given decision made…
The Princess and The Pickle – 52 Fridays
Each Friday throughout 2012 I will attempt to sum up the week in 52 words, along with a photo I have taken during the week.
2/52 – The little things…
MotherWifeMe – Happy birthday my darling daughter
0:15am this morning was the moment the tinkerous toddler turned 2 years old. For those that read my blog regularly, you will know that her start in this world was a shaky one. But after 3 days in NICU and 3 days in Special Care, she was allowed home with a clean bill of health and she really hasn’t looked back since…
Boo Roo and Tigger Too – @Slimavite – Week 10 (#MUMenTUM)
Starting weight: 12st 2lb (31/10/11)
Weight: 11st 5lb (3lb loss)
Oh yes! you read that right a 3lb LOSS!! woohoo!!!
You’re not from round here. – Rear facing – the way forward?
Is rear facing the way forward?
My son is in a rear facing car seat (the BeSafe Izi Combi isofix). He will be three in March. When he was nearing a year old and growing out of his baby seat, we looked at the (simply baffling) amount of car seats on the market. I researched the seats. I read reviews. I looked at Sweden’s road safety records. I looked at the scary crash dummy videos. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that the safest thing for my son was to be rear facing.
geekmummy – Sometimes humour just won’t cut it
Ah, the irony. Yesterday I was regaling you with amusing stories of how we’ve diffused arguments with humour. Today I have to tell a very different story. I was driving to work yesterday morning, catching up with some of my audio blog listening when my car stereo sound faded out. I was puzzled for a couple of seconds, and then my phone started ringing.
Older Single Mum – The Gynaecologist’s
So there I was at the gynaecologist’s a while ago, legs akimbo, discussing the merits of BP cuts vs. the Government’s simultaneous cutbacks on staff and spending in the NHS and how attempting the two together is against what they could achieve. Hey Ho.
In the meanwhile he is checking out why a picture of my insides is not hitting the computer screen in front of him and reaching down to ensure cables are plugged in tight, this way and that and the probe inside me…..
Loving the Little Things – A Special Birthday
No one could ever have told me how I would feel at this exact moment in my life.
Its 11:45pm. In 15 minutes my little girl will be one.
One years old.
I stopped to think about how long it took us to get here. Right here.
3 years and a number of days. Too big a number to remember.
And I finally got to watch my tummy grow.
from fun to mum – Vintage Threads
he point of the post, I think, is to talk about something that has been living in your wardrobe for a fair few years and explain why.
Well, let me tell you what immediately came to mind when I thought of this. The fur hat from a tiny market in Moscow? No. The truly vintage scarves from a few Parisian markets? No. That leather jacket from the1970s that took me months to scout? Nope. None of those items, which are truly vintage threads, are that precious to me after all.
from fun to mum – Have I hit my shelf life
I was made redundant in October, right at the end of my one year maternity leave, and 2 days after I had finally found a nanny for Little Miss G and prepared myself to go back to the rat race.
Since October much has happened.
HPMcQ – away from home
this second week of the new year is the week out of the whole year that i dread the most. i don’t think i’m alone, i’m pretty sure anyone that does my job, in roughly the same product area who also has a family and small children must all feel the same.