‘The Weekly Showcase 12-09-11

Welcome to our first Weekly Showcase featuring 100% pure,unadulterated newer parent bloggers! A new concept in showcasing the collective talents of the newer voices in the parent blogging community , we gather excerpts of posts that newer bloggers submit and compile then in one lovely big dollop for your perusal and delight! These lovely folk have been blogging for less than a year – some for a few months and some for just a few days.

Grab a cuppa or a double gin and sit back and enjoy – if you like an excerpt just click ‘read more’ to be whizzed off in a new window to the entire post on the bloggers own site.

Daddy had a pet baboon 

A two-minute talk on any subject you like’ the letter from school said. Sweet Pea (7) had been set her
first big homework task: to prepare a talk to give in front of the whole class about anything she liked. The chosen topic? “My Funny Daddy”.Now, I know this is a proud, shameless step-mum talking but I reckon her talk must have utterly trumped the others’. Who else could claim to have a daddy who split his trousers in front of the Queen? That alone could have done it, but with the claim that he also kept a pet baboon as a kid, that must have blown away the fierce seven-year-old competition good and proper. Brilliant! Read more…

Marks and me

‘I am finally resigned to my fate. After years of fighting it – of squeezing myself into clothes that were the wrong shape,
shoes that were the wrong fit, and underwear that was just too darn small – I have accepted that my natural match on the high street is, in fact, M&S.

For too long, I have associated the place with the fashion disasters of my schooldays and teens. A flick back through my parents’ photo albums reveals an astounding number of sartorial horrors – palazzo pants, t-bar sandals, furry gilets, pinafore dresses, hypercolour t-shirts, and polyester, calf-length culottes – that all originated from the sweaty confines of M&S.’ Read more…

5 things I’ve learned from my parents

‘There are some things I’ve learned that won’t be relevant for ages yet, like I don’t want Daddy dancing at my wedding, and that I don’t want to see Mummy dancing again, ever, but the ones I’ve picked could be handy things to know.

“P*ss Poor Planning Leads To P*ss Poor Performance”

Put another way, “Fail to plan and plan to fail.” The 6Ps is pretty much Daddy’s mantra. I can tell when he and Mummy have planned and when they haven’t. Either one of them on their own is pretty reliable, unless they’re sleep deprived but trying to get the three of us out the door, on time, with everything we need, is a virtual impossibility because they don’t communicate. Each one assumes the other has done things or packed bits and they don’t check until it’s too late to meet our deadline, or worse still, we’re half way to our destination, and then Daddy complains and gives us the lecture about the Ps. Again. Proper Prior Planning Leads To Perfect Performance.’ Read more…

How not to have a perfect family afternoon on the beach, and other helpful holiday tips

‘Rarely do I feel the red-faced burning embarrassment that I felt recently on Brancaster Beach.

“Does anyone need the loo?” I asked. And so began an afternoon that should have been tranquil, pebbledashed with the essence of Britain’s last summers afternoon. We had a picnic, an expanse of sandy beach on which to eat it, the sun warming our backs and a romantic idea that we would have a lovely jolly time. What could possibly go wrong?’ Read more…

The making not the breaking

‘Tomorrow the husband goes back to work after his lengthy time at home. For the most part I’m really happy – he needs to get back, not only for financial reasons but also because, well, it’s normal isn’t it?! But I’m used to having him around. He looks after me while I look after Boo. He is my safety net. He gives me five minutes to myself when I’m struggling. I’m nervous tonight, and I know I’m over worrying. I can’t stop my inner monologue winding me up when I should be fast asleep. What if Boo wants her daddy? What if she hurts herself? What if I can’t entertain her? What if I just can’t do it?’ Read more…

The spider and the maypole

‘I’ve come to realise that DD is not afraid of anything. Nothing. Nada. Not high walls she can fall off, or wasps that can sting her, dogs that look like they’ll tear her arm off, elephants that could stomp on her or spiders. Even huge ones.

Case in point – yesterday when DD woke delicately from her nap with her usual dulcit tone (MUUUUUUMMMMMMY!!!) I noticed that there was a black saucer with legs sitting on the wall next to her cupboard door. The saucer twitched. I tried to ignore it. DD didn’t…’ Read more…

Left out in the cold: Men and maternity wards

‘Birth can often be one of the most stressful and exhausting physical (and mental) experiences that a woman will go through in her lifetime. Fear; fatigue; strength; elation – the feelings that having a baby can stir up inside of you are endless and, ultimately, personal.

After giving birth, I was, of course, thankful that I had had healthy babies, but any adrenalin soon wore off and I was left feeling absolutely exhausted. With my second son, born in 2010, I haemorrhaged about two minutes after he was born, so had to go to a general ward about two hours after the birth (at around 4am) to recover. After the birth of my first son, born in 2006, I developed a temperature and so had to stay another night in hospital (after already being there for three nights being induced).’ Read more…

We had a birthday party for a soccer ball… yes, a soccer ball…

‘Shanah – (who is now 3 by the way, can you believe my baby is 3 already??) got a new soccer ball. This child is amazing with this thing, she can spin it, toss it, catch it, and all those other sporty things.

She gets SO irritated with me because Mommy is … well….very CR*P at catching balls.

So, we get the new ball, and she decides we need to give the ball a party. A party for a ball my baby?

” Yes MOMMEEE, Me want party for my ballie! “’ Read more…

Naughty nursery

‘This morning, Oliver’s nursery teacher came for a visit before he officially starts on Tuesday. I had great expectations of this meeting.  Hoping to be able to spend half an hour finding out all about what will be happening in his day and asking all my ‘silly’ questions I have been thinking up.

Unfortunately, this didn’t happen.

They walked in, pleasant enough.  All the niceties were done in a flash.  Their eyes were darting round the room, obviously checking us out, ensuring we were ‘good’ people.

I tried to put this down to my own personal paranoia.

The first thing out of her mouth was “You understand its VERY important that you attend church to ensure Oliver gets a place in Year One.” Read more…

Unleashing the creativity within

‘Over the first 8 months of this year there have been two new great joys that I’ve been lucky enough to experience. Firstly I’ve had the privilege of watching my daughter grow and discover the world around her during the first year of her life. Running almost in tandem with this has been the reigniting of the creative spark inside of me that has lay dormant for some time. I’ve been fortunate to have two jobs that give me opportunities to be creative, but the ongoing creative process that I have lost myself in when putting together my ideas for Lets Go Make has been quite exhilarating. I didn’t realise I had so much repressed creativity inside of me and it’s great to let it out. There must be a lot of other people who have a creative side just waiting to burst out and for whatever reason it never happens.’ Read more…

Why mini-breaks are fab

‘To celebrate the first month of the Minibreak Mummy blog, here is a list of why I think minibreaks are fab: • a change of scene, whether it’s open spaces or a city or some combination of the two
• my husband gets chance to escape from the house for a bit
• we all get chance to spend some time together
• if you wrap a minibreak round a weekend you can get a 3 or 4 day break for only 1 or 2 days’ worth of annual leave’ Read more…

Breast isn’t best

‘Breast isn’t best – it’s an option.

Breast feeding is nutrionally better for your baby that formula milk, it’s a fact that we are all aware of. But is it best?

Not for everyone, no. I do not think bottle feeding is better than breast feeding , conversely I do not think that breast feeding is better than bottle feeding.

After spending your whole pregnancy being reminded that ‘breast it best’ you give birth and for some women breast feeding goes perfectly well but for others it doesn’t. And it’s when it doesn’t that the problems begin, maybe you don’t produce enough milk, maybe you find it too painful and find the experience of being ‘taught’ how to latch your baby on to your breast difficult (countless times have I seen a mother in a maternity ward being instructed on how best to latch her baby on while strangers wander past.)Perhaps you have an over-supply of milk ,maybe breast feeding just doesn’t work out for you or maybe you decide not try it at all.’ Read more…

Batman’s birth story

‘At 11.45pm, the midwife tried to listen to the baby’s heart beat but couldn’t find it.

She put me on the trace & found it.

The Midwife then took my Blood Pressure (it was off the scale).

She thought the BP machine was broke so went to get a manual one.

As soon as she left the room, I felt an almighty pop, followed by a huge gush as my waters broke!

I was still dressed and gutted I was soaked through!…’ Read more…

My story so far

‘Almost overnight after my daughter was born i became ill and a few months later got diagnosed with post natal & reactive depression and psoriatic arthritis , which is an auto immune condition related to the skin condition psoriasis and is very similar to rheumatoid arthritis .For the next two years i didn’t live , i existed… in a world of confusion , depression and pain. and as id separated from their dad i’d ended up homeless and moving back into my parents house. there were days i couldn’t pick my kids up of change nappies and the pain was like i’ve never felt before. my hands and wrists were agony and eventually becoming deformed ..a few years later and my consultant got me on a combination of medication that seemed to suit me and although it wasn’t a cure it certainly helped me live as normal life as i can’ Read more…

What do you think a mum of 4 looks like?

‘Now, having 4 under 9 isn’t an easy job – there’s always someone crying, moaning, screaming or hitting their brother/sister, but I didn’t immediately become Hilda Ogden or similar as soon as I had my 4th baby. I like to look after myself and wear fashionable clothes (although it’s usually Primarni these days as opposed to Reiss or French Connection as it used to be), I go to the gym when I can and recently lost some weight. However, when people meet me I’m not quite sure why they’re quite often surprised to find out I am a mum of 4. What do they expect? To be wearing a tracksuit maybe (perhaps even my PJ’s 24/7) or completely grey hair? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I like to pull on my comfy trews and Uggs as much as the next girl – but 4 kids or not, I’m still ME. So come on, when you think of a mum of 4 (or 5, 6 or 7) what do YOU think of?’ Read more…


‘His birthday is coming up this weekend and what has his good old mother done, tried to steer him away from Fireman Sam and show him that there are other cartoon characters in the world desperately neglected and in need of some TLc? NO! of course not, I have decided to dress the house up like the Sam’s home town of Ponty Pandy. As we speak i am cutting out the laminated fire flames that my mother in law has done to decorate the house!’ Read more…

Summer is over

‘K started back to school today into primary 2.  As a young 5 year old- her birthday is in June she is one of the youngest in her year but this year she will be in a  combined primary 2 primary 3 class so will be a lot younger than others in her class.

The school K goes to is great but I do have one concern this year, the school advised who the teacher was for this term but not that the class would be combined.  I think it is wrong that we were not advised of this.  Luckily I know others in the school so found out through them.’ Read more…

5 things I want you to know about your father

‘These are the things you should know about Daddy, if you don’t already.1.) He was in a band. Yes that is in the past tense. Ok I’ll admit it – I am Yoko to his Lennon. His band wanted to practice more than once a week. I was a new mum. I had been a good supporter up till then, but on top of a job with unpredictable shifts and a firm footie commitment every Thursday, it was easy to feel abandoned. I don’t think I ever said, “cut back on the practices.” I didn’t have to. Anyway, being in a band is cool right? I’m sure he’ll tell you all the stories, when you’re older. In fact I’m sure you’ve already cut him dead mid dialogue, with a “yes Daddy, I know you were in a band, you’ve told me that already.” Children do withering so early these days.’ Read more…

The Gallery – birth

‘The day we found out we were pregnant
was, by far,
the most surreal day of my life.

Could this really be happening for us?

I nurtured that bump like my life depended on it.
I ate more fruit and veg and drank more water than ever before.
I cuddled and stroked it constantly.


If only I was Superwoman

‘I’ve decided what I really need are some superhero powers just to be able to get all the normal household duties done. Today, I have spent all day trying to sort out the house, get the uniforms ready and labelled ready for the children to go back to school tomorrow, washing and ironing, plus the usual feeding of children, nappy changing, bottom wiping, bath time etc, etc, etc. And I’m still nowhere near done. I’ve had to stuff paperwork into bags, and hide all manner of things until I get more time to sort it all out.’Read more…

Top 5 tips for reading and writing

‘Before I started school Mummy tried to get me reading simple phonics books. I.Was.Not.Interested………..
1. Do not panic: if you’re not up for reading and writing, strong-arm tactics will not help (although fruit pastilles might). You will get it when you are ready, and not before. (Mummy is learning that this is true of most skills; check out my first 2-wheeled bicycle experience.) Take this example last week from the Bug, due to start school in September:

Mummy: Today we have to take in something beginning with ‘p’. What shall we take?
The Bug: A cat? (Wrong on so many levels)

But this week, out of nowhere he calmly announced: ‘Mummy, there’s a ‘g’ in the middle of ‘mungasaur’ and it begins with a ‘m”Read more…

Bats in the bedroom

‘It was a Sunday night and I had gone up to bed after husband as usual (inveterate night owl and insomniac that I am). I turned out the lights and it was then that I heard it – a loud rustling in the room (we do have an inordinate amount of crap in the bedroom – must tidy it one day). This was not just mice in the cupboards or under the floorboards (we’ve had them before), this was IN the room – definitely. I turned the light back on and watched the corner of the room (where the piles of crap reside) and where the noise was coming from. The noise got louder and I could see paper moving – I continued to watch with fascinated horror – don’t know what I thought was going to appear but it was the middle of the night. Eventually a small fluffy thing popped out but within seconds I realised it was a bat not a mouse. I think I probably squeaked and then nudged husband rudely awake with ‘there’s a bat in our bedroom’.’Read more…

My mummy can cook

‘This site is a baby recipe swap page for mums trying to navigate the minefield that is weaning.

I’m a first-time mum with a full-time job and, when I started this site I had a very hungry little eight-month old boy, so just didn’t have the time to spend hours pouring over baby recipe books but wanted to cook tasty, homemade food that doesn’t take an hours prep time or involve a visit to the supermarket every day… Basically I wanted to be able to make tasty meals for my son out of what I already have in the fridge and kitchen cupboards. I now have an even hungrier 15-month-old but I enjoy doing this site so much that I’m hoping it can grow with him. The recipes we feature will still be weaning ones but also I’d like us to start sharing ones that are suitable for toddlers and young children too.
.’Read more…

Feeding Bob – chocolate cakes and custard

‘Well its Monday night, the night I have the pleasure of having the grandchildren to stay over. So at 6.30 this evening we toddled off to the kitchen to make chocolate cakes and chocolate custard. Bob had never had either, and has never had custard of any sort at all as his mummy doesn’t make this sort of thing’Read more…

The twins – 6 months old

‘Tomorrow my precious twins will be exactly six months old. It seems like they’ve been here forever and, when I think of the day we went in to hospital for the old cut-and-shut, it feels like an age ago. But these six months have also flown by, and have been a bit of a blur.’
Read more…

How blogging has changed my life

‘I started blogging in April when my youngest was only 12 weeks old, I was suffering with PND and terrible anxiety. I wasn’t getting out much, feared leaving the house alone and was feeling incredibly isolated. I came across a blog post giving away a cloth nappy and it got me thinking back to when I was expecting our first baby and we really wanted to use cloth nappies, for various reasons which I’ll go into another day, we didn’t use them but I had always been disappointed. Anyway that blog giveaway prompted me to swap to cloth nappies and start a blog about our journey swapping to cloth.’
Read more…

I’m one year old and I’m awake so you will be too!

‘I’m one year old and I’m awake so you will be too!
I don’t care that it’s 6.30 a.m and everyone in the house wants to sleep
Sleep is for the weak and I want to play
I’ll wake you by any means necessary – even the hair pull manoeuvre isn’t off bounds
So what if even the dog looks annoyed at being woken at this early hour!

I want my books and my toys and I want a person to play with
No you can’t just put the kettle on before we begin
because I have the utlimate weapon
a scream so loud it will wake the whole street if mum delays play’Read more…

Science Museum

‘So we survived freezing water and scaling walls at the V&A, and then when we were all rested we headed along the road to the Science Museum. I think the Science Museum is well and truely a child’s idea of heaven. I’ve yet to meet a toddler that doesn’t love cars (girls and boys), aeroplanes, or rockets.’Read more…

My birthing story

‘I have three children, all with very different birthing stories. They were all born in the same private hospital – the second two, who are not twins, were born in the same room! – but that’s about where similarities end. ‘Read more…

The suitability of my 5 year old’s playlist 

‘Our household has always been one that has enjoyed listening to music be it in the house or the car, watching music DVDs and, when we can, catching it live. When pregnant with “E” I would enjoy listening to it loud in the car on the daily commute, sitting up late watching live DVDs and generally enjoying my CD collection never worrying about what I was listening to. Now, as a mother of two, I have been subjected to Nursery Rhymes and In the Night Garden CDs for car journeys but the children are now outgrowing this genre and, although they still enjoy Disney’s Tangled soundtrack, they are taking interest in our musical tastes – hoorah! But….. I am finding myself having to police my CDs very carefully.’Read more…

Not for politicians

‘I originally wrote this post last week, a full on rant about Nadine Dorries and her strangely “Pro-Life” and foolish legislation that she wanted to bring in. Okay, so today she has gone on the record in parliament to say that she is” Pro-Choice” but I am not totally convinced on that.

This is after all, the woman that in May this year, proposed a bill that required sex education in schools should include content promoting abstinence to girls aged 13 to 16. Even though the sex education that is already taught mentions the option of abstinence, the new bill would require active promotion of abstinence to girls only. Now, it has been 25 years since I was a teenager but from memory, boys were just as, if not more promiscuous as us girls. So the question needs to be asked why not this “active promotion” to boys?
Read more…

Ugly duckling

‘I have a strange worry about my unborn son – that he will be unfortunate enough to look like I did as a baby! Despite being a girl, I was bald until the age of 2 and looked very much like a boy. I couldn’t find my favourite baby photo, which is me looking like Les Dawson in a bonnet, so feast your eyes on this one instead.
Yes I do look familiar – I look like Vigo in Ghostbusters 2! My charming husband made that observation but sadly I had to agree with him.’Read more…

10 things that you should know about living with autistic children – a parent’s perspective

1. Spontaneity – we can’t just get up and go somewhere on a whim. A fear of new places or a change in routine means we have to prepare our children. Sometimes we make lists showing them where we are going, how long we are going for and when we will be returning home. Sometimes we use the internet to show our children the place we are visiting and what it looks like inside and out (thank you google). Even with this preparation, there is no guarantee we will even get out of the front door.’Read more…

Welcome to my patch

‘I thought the best way to open our new blog would be to tell you all a little bit about me and my mummy. My name is Lily-Sue, but my mummy always calls me Munchkin, so I guess that will stick for a while now! I am nearly 2 years old now, and my mummy thought that this blog may well assist her through my ‘Terrible Twos’ … I have no idea what she is taking about!!!!’Read more…

Thank you to the world of blogging!

‘When Annabelle was about a week old I was struck with this weird feeling, I started Having a panic attack over something that upset me that I couldn’t control, I couldn’t stop thinking about it! At night I was unable to get out of bed to get a bottle without being struck with fear of I don’t even know! It got worse that I couldn’t eat properly for a fortnight! There was lots of things/symptoms but I don’t want to talk about them yet!’Read more…

The door

‘This is the door that separated me and my wee one! I’m a stay at home Mum so while most other Mums I know are now preparing to return to work and putting their wee ones into nursery, my baby girl will be staying right with me.

I decided that it would be good for her to have some time with other children away from me and for me to have some ‘me-time’ so signed her up for an hour in the creche. Yes, a whole hour!’Read more…

What a difference two years can make!

‘Just over two years ago Spud and Libby went to their first adventure and we took this photo:’Read more…



It’s safe to say Isabelle loves food in any form!

‘I heard horror stories about babies and toddlers being fussy eaters but we seem to have lucked out with Isabelle. She loves her food no matter what it is. As soon as her super senses detect a whiff of food or rustle of a bag she is there quicker than a rat up a drainpipe smacking her lips together.’Read more…

I see an explosion, blue clouds of blazing fire whooshing everywhere…

‘OMG, seriously OMG, I just sat down to write my blog, thinking I’d settle in for a bit on the sofa writing the toils and troubles of the endless days of my groundhog day life…..sorry, went off then. So, I sit down, then think I’ll make a cuppa, walking through the garage to ask Alex outside if he wanted one too (he’s on BBQ duty) I see an explosion, blue clouds of blazing fire whooshing everywhere like it’s just been given instructions to ‘Fly! Be free! Burn everything in your path! And above all, be blue and big and scary and HOT!’ It flies through the car (windows are open) Buster, Alex and I leap around like monkeys shouting ‘FIRE!’ collectively, which brings me to a point, why do you always shout the bleeding obvious when there’s a disaster ‘Fire’, ‘Bomb!’ ‘’Burglars!’? Where? Oh, it’s me giving examples, OK. Why? We all know, it’s VERY f*****g obvious, surely? But there we go, fact. So we prance about shouting the bleeding obvious in different directions, after some serious monosyllabic discussion, ‘Fire!’ ‘Towel?’ ‘Water!’ “How?’ ‘Here’ ‘F***’, we establish water would be a good start. Alex tries to attach the hose and douse the car, the tap wouldn’t turn on, he waggles it violently to try and drip out a bit of liquid, in the mean time I grabbed Alex’s T-shirt, put the washing on (alright, I made that up), see a bottle of fizzy water and run towards the burning car, screaming for what my life is worth ‘Water!’ I have some difficulty getting the lid off, but Sheera with the power of Grey Skull (Google her if you have no idea who I refer to here) skills kick in, and I shake the fizzy water all over the burning interior and exterior. ‘Read more…

Naidoc week

‘There are some moments in life that make you stop. I spend all my life it seems, rushing frantically around, trying to do so much. I love those moments, where I can take stock, put priorities back in their rightful place and this was one such time. I felt a calmness, a stillness, a peace. It is a very rare occurrence in my life, and one that when it happens, I cherish it.

Do you find time in your busy lives to stop, relax and reflect, even if it is only for a few moments?’Read more…

Just one sentence

‘On Saturday my mind was sent swirling back to all the negative thoughts that I have had over the past 12 months (quite possibly longer). I cried, I got cross, I had negative thoughts tumbling through my mind.

All of this was due to one little sentence that NJ said to, actually more shouted at me, just before I was setting off to get AJ from gymnastics.’
Read more…

A momentous day

‘Today has been one of those days. One full of memories and moments that I won’t forget but that show that my babies are growing up. And yes it does leave a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye!
Today, Monkey attended his taster session at ‘Butterfly’. The unit at nursery for the 3-5 year olds. He has been very happy in ‘Caterpillar’ and loves going for his one morning a week, but next week he will be three and it will be time to move up. He was a little apprehensive, having not been throughout the summer, but was good once there (or so I am told) ‘
Read more…

Sky and Summer

…it was the youngest daughters 9th birthday and after two years of asking we thought she was ready for her Rabbits!

They are still finding there way around, but my patio minus the pots of summer bulbs (poisonous) and my herb pots (precious!) is proving very popular! They are like all babies…adorable but VERY time consuming! xxx’
Read more…

Excuse me Mr Salon owner?

‘Dear Mr. Hairdresser and Salon Owner,

I have been coming to your salon for many years and I am very happy with how you (YOU) or your other Lebanese hairdresser man blow-dry my hair. I am also happy that you have renovated your salon and that it looks much nicer than before.

Unfortunately, there are things that I am not happy about. Please find the list below.’
Read more…

Point of reflection

‘There is NO such thing as a good or bad Mummy (or Daddy)!!

It is all about trying your best and working from that. There will be good days and equally bad days, there will be days when everything goes right and equally days where everything goes wrong. You will feel on top of the world at some points and others so low you don’t want to go on. But you do and must because you are a parent – above all else that comes first, the love you feel for a child, your child is above anything you will every feel – it becomes the most important love and thing to you.’
Read more…

Natural birth vs C-section

‘Before I open a can of worms on a debate that always seems to occur on this topic, I’m not an expert in any shape or form, I’ve only given birth to 2 children and watched endless labour programs during both my pregnancies! This is simply how I feel about the whole thing after my 2 labours.’
Read more…

I’m bored – Summer holidays suck!

‘One of the depressing things about working from home is noticing that the ironing pile is bigger than me. 5ft 4 inches tall is one mo-fo of an ironing pile. And there’s more in the machine being washed as we speak. So this morning I suggested to the children that they lay all of the clothes out flat on the lawn and spend the day rolling over them until they got all the wrinkles out. That suggestion was met with blank stares.

The other bit about working from home is I am suddenly drawn to Delia Smith. First and foremost, you should know that I sometimes fantasise about stuffing Delia with apricots and breadcrumbs, wrapping her in tin-foil and shoving her into a pre-heated oven until she says sorry for making me and anyone else out there feel inadequate with her smug organisation. No-one smiles that much whilst making a spag bol unless they are chopping magic mushrooms. That aside, her recipes are easy enough for even a numpty like me to follow. Or Numpty’s children. So I have suggested several times over the past week or so that we could all make a nice meal for Dad/brownies for a picnic/phallus-shaped cookies to amuse Mum TOGETHER, a way of whiling away the long hours between 11am when they rise from their pits to 10pm when I decide they either have to go to bed or be sold for medical experiments. None of my cooking mamma ideas have yet cut the mustard. I hate mustard anyway.’
Read more…

My post-baby body

‘This is what my body looked like before I had any children. I was a circus artist, and in this particular picture doing my favourite circus skill, acrobalance. Basically I balanced on my hunk of a hubby in a variety of ways. It was fun, graceful and made me feel like a Circus Queen.

is what I look like now and if my husband and I tried to perform the move in the photograph above, we might need to put in a call to a doctor afterwards.

My body has changed so much that sometimes I find it unrecognisable. Where do I start ? My tummy is soft and saggy, like an overstretched deflated balloon. My breasts are massive, seriously im considering naming them, so much do they dominate my every conversation with a man these days. They are also (when out of their supportive hammocks) extremely saggy, they will not be passing the pencil test any time soon (ladies you know what I mean).’
Read more…

Everybody out of the pool!!!

‘Ok, so a week ago I faced my fear and decided to set a date and take my little ones SWIMMING! Now, that does mean being seen (baring my arms and, wait for it – THIGHS) in a bathing suit by…..other people! Strangers! Members of the public! Gulp! This is no easy decision for me, and it took a full 7 days of mental preparation, a couple of sit-ups and liberal applications of gradual tanning lotion before the day of dread. This is not to say that my children have never been swimming, surely that would be a crime. It is just that it’s been either on holidays, where I’m a little less uptight, or the Grandparents have fulfilled the going- swimming- duties. As I say, it was time for me to ‘face the fear’……..’
Read more…

Wednesday Wheels – Red team’s going to win!

‘My children spend a lot of time charging around the garden playing games, they use the trampoline, play a lot of sport, enjoy board games, cards and reading. They also watch television and, although I hesitate to mention this considering some of the adverse press it gets, play computer games.

Now I remember my parents playing everything from Rummy to Monopoly with us as children and these are things that we still do now with our own children, but it is difficult to ignore the impact of the computer on the current generation of youngsters. Our solution has been to embrace this extra outlet for their energies and enthusiasm, (although we do keep a close eye on the content and age rating of games), it does not seem to stop them from wanting to read or be outside in the fresh air, in fact it is just one more aspect of modern childhood.’
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Whose job is it anyway?

‘Yesterday me and the Dad2babyinsomniac mainly spent the day arguing debating about who should wash his socks. We debated it in a really childish mature way and at no point did we resort to calling each other names such as ‘wotsit face’ and ‘burnt kipper sandwich lover’.’
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Are we being unfair to the yummy mummies?

‘I’m about as far from a yummy mummy as you can be without getting mistaken for a homeless person. My daily uniform consists off ancient yoga trousers and stretchy tops (almost all some shade of grey) as I’m still breast feeding. If I have to go out I’ll stick on the only pair of jeans I have that fit (£18 from Next four years ago) and a pair of black pumps. I have worn make up exactly three times since starting my maternity leave back in November.’
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Our family – from the Pickle’s perspective

‘My Daddy is quite old because he’ll be 30 soon. I think he had a pet dinosaur when he was as little as me, but now he says he has a pet monster instead. I’ve never seen it but I know it has the same name as me. Daddy goes to a place called ‘Work’ and gets to sit down at a desk and play on a computer all day. Work sounds fun, I don’t know why Daddy pretends to be so tired when he gets home! Playing isn’t tiring, I’m never ever tired. Mummy and Daddy seem to think I need this thing called ‘sleep’, but I’m not convinced. Sleep is for babies.’
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The magic of rhythm

‘Recent research has helped us to understand that a baby in the last trimester is a responsive member of the household, who hears, learns, and remembers what she is exposed to in the womb. Your baby is already familiar with her sibling’s laugh, the sound of your dog barking, and most importantly, the melody and cadence of your voice. Some of the research strongly suggests that a baby is soothed and calmed by a rhythmic and repetitious story or music because the inherent beat closely mimics the rhythm of his mother’s heartbeat and breath. It makes sense, doesn’t it? A baby in the womb is comforted by the “ba-bump, ba-bump” of your heartbeat and the in-and-out “whoosh” of your breathing. If you read a rhythmic story, he will also be soothed by the rhythm of your voice. Once born, the baby is taken out of this soothing environment with its predictable, rhythmic sound. But if you hold your baby close and read a rhythmic poem or story that you read to him regularly during the last trimester, he will immediately be soothed by the familiar ba-bump beat.’
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Potty training with hestitation

‘We’ve come to that fateful time which every parent inevitably faces but consequently dreads… potty training!

We’ve successfully come up with enough excuses and justifications to put off potty training for about four-months and I’m now feeling the pressure of those scathing eyes; the ones you feel eating into your back when you pull out another nappy to change your walking, talking toddler of 26-months! Okay, so we confess, it’s mainly laziness on our part because the excuses don’t cut i.e. too busy, house wasn’t safe with renovation materials and tools everywhere, downstairs loo isn’t plumbed-in, etc. The thought of hanging around for hours-on-end waiting for my daughter to discharge her bladder/bowels into a potty has never been high on my agenda, although as an environmentally conscientious parent who invested heavily into ‘eco-friendly’ nappy solutions for the first 18-months – until they just became too damned expensive – we should really be jumping on the option to get her out of her nappies and fully potty trained, right? Correct! In my head, I’m dedicated to the cause but in reality I’m seriously put off by the prospect of the nasty, messy little accidents, all over the newly carpeted floors, having to drag a potty from pillar to post, finding somewhere to dispose of the content, worrying about the inopportune moments she is going to choose to want the loo and of course, the persistent monitoring, ‘have you done a wee, wee yet?’!’
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Mummy went to the ball

‘I’d been looking forward to going to my work ball for ages and had spent hours upon hours scouring the ‘net for suitable dresses (those who know me know my slight addiction to ASOS). They arrived through the door one by one, and got sent back one by one. By the time yesterday came around, I had no idea what I was wearing and was far too tired to even *think* about going out, plus I had major wobbles about leaving Sophie for the evening (something I never had a problem with before with Logan, as to be honest any excuse to get away was grabbed at any given opportunity).

However, after a very brief fashion show in front of the boys (Logan: “what you wearing that for? where you going? why? why? whyyyyyy?”), Adam convinced me that my black bandeau maxi was fine, and with a rockin’ pair of heels (that I could barely walk in, let alone dance) I set off to the ball.’
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A wriggling party pooper

‘Babies time their illnesses to a tee. I was maid of honour at my best friend’s wedding recently, and had been really looking forward to it for over a year. It was also the day bub started projectile vomiting. It began with an emergency middle of the night bath after he’d thrown up all over his cot, and then three more vomits, two of them at the venue, using up all his emergency clothes, all over hubby’s suit, the pushchair and a friend’s wedding card they’d left in the shopping basket of our pram. So hubby had to miss the wedding and go home, and I smelt like a lovely combination of sick and Johnson’s baby wipes throughout. And then had to leave early. Rubbish.’
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Goodbye Harry Potter

‘Then we went to see the latest and final Harry Potter movie, something DD has been both anticipating and dreading since The Deathly Hallows part1. She is an avid and passionate Harry Potter fan, which has not lessened with the onset of teendom and although she loved the film, burst into painful tears as soon as we were back home because, ‘ It’s the end. I’ve grown up with them and now it’s over ‘…..’
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This week baby, I promise

‘In the hope of improving some of my somewhat rubbish parenting skills I have recently committed to try and do at least one thing better for my child each week.This week my aim was to battle my sheer laziness and dress my 8 month old in something other than baby-grows…not doing too badly with this one.
Maybe next weeks will be harder.

Want to join in? I would love to hear from other Mums and Dads so a new link will go live with a post each Monday.

Simply post your own and linky up with that weeks post.

Can be anything at all but just one sentence beginning with….“This week baby I promise…”’
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