‘The Fatherload’ 22-10-11



Welcome and hello! Firstly a HUGE Congratulations to @toomanycarbs as his wife has just had twin girls early who , I am told are doing really well xx
You may have noticed that I’ve morphed into a man this week-fear not I am still ‘all woman’ and the funny sausage that is SAHDandProud is taking over the reigns as Master and Commander of the good ship LoveDadBlogs in the official role of ‘boss man who tweets and writes witty shizzle whilst balancing fatherhood and husbandly duties’. So without further ado I give you your host with the most…

Love Dad Blogs. We all do don’t we? Here are the one’s we’ve had in this week. Our first week. Please keep them coming, and tell your friends.


Award-winning blog winning award Dad, and soon to be Dad again, @tombriggs79 writes about the impending changes and how life will be once Mr Stork brings another little bundle to your doorstep. @Jacks_Dad88 talks about milestones. Baby’s first word? Baby’s first step? How about baby getting a groove thang on. Oh yeah. Bust those moves. Taking time out from tinkling with his ukelele (not a euphemism) @musodad talks TV music. Food for your ears.

You’re a new parent. The big thing to consider? The name @daddybydefault suggests that as parents we have a responsibility not to give them names that suck. I totally agree. And so do my children ‘Tampax’ and ‘Swarfeega.’ Fitness. Big issue, cos there are some big children out there. Oh my days, once just tried to arm wrestle me at a playgroup. I owe him £20. Here’s how we can witness the fitness in our younglings from @dadofdivas.

@TheFoolTweets gives us his best holiday ever. Next holiday I have, I’m going with him and @toomanycarbs is 12 days away from his new arrivals qand has taken to beating spiders to death with children’s toys. Clearly the man is losing it.

When I think of ‘going crabbing’ I’m always reminded of taking a less than selective ex-girlfriend to an STD clinic. No more. This is a lovely one from @Floydsdad. Not so lovely is @SAHDandproud ‘s mother in law. He tells us all about what a total nutjob she is. @dorkdaddy1 is a Soccer Dad and gives us an insight into his girls love affair, or not, with The Beautiful Game. @DudeoftheHouse gives us his view on unusual baby names preferred by celebrities (yes David Beckham, we mean you!) and some baby name trends he’s spotted.

@Davidinglis tell us about giving his daughter a phobia, the Monster that he is, and @Infantisaurus01 writes poetically about the chaos of his house. @SAHDblogdotcom discusses bullying, @phoneguy94 blogs about his son’s new bathtime buddies. @idiosynwind talks about taking your children out of their comfort zone, in order to try new things and his own feelings of ‘shedding the skin of fear.’ and @homedad_ commends his daughter’s comic timing. That Peppa Pig has a lot to answer for.

@The_iDad is being beaten up, nay battered and bruised, by his 7 month old boy, who sounds like a good wingman when it all gets hairy. @SAHDblogdotcom writes about sending his 5 year old off to Kindergarten and @benwakeling, author of ‘Goodbye Pert Breasts’ writes hilariously about the differences between his two sons. Don’t read this while drinking or it’ll go down the wrong hole.

Read them, and tell people that Dad Bloggers aren’t just for Christmas. We love them for life.

Goodbye, Pert Breasts

Like Peas in a Pod, if the Peas are Completely Not Alike

My two sons couldn’t be more different – unless, of course, one of them was a girl. But anyway, enough of anatomy. Today, we’re talking about personality.

My eldest son, Isaac, is a bit of a brainiac, despite only being four. This evening, as he was sat on my lap reading phonics books (bought for him after a glowing parent’s evening review), he turned to me and said ‘Daddy, shall we count to twenty in French?’

I’m all like ‘Yeah, whatever’, as I desperately try to think past cinq. Then, without so much as a breath, Isaac rattles off ‘un, deux, trois…’ right the way through to vingt, as I mutter and blart with my jaw on my chest.

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The iDad

My Baby Beats Me

The iDad

My son is 7 months old this week and his development over the last 6 weeks has been incredible to witness. However there has been one development in particular that has me slightly concerned and that’s his relentless desire to hurt and taunt me. You are probably thinking “how ridiculous you are a grown man and he is a baby”, well that maybe the case but there is no reasoning with him and if you had experienced what I have in the last week alone, you may be crying out for help too. Below are just a few examples of what I have to put up with.

Plastifruitaphobia – My son has a knack for turning the most mundane baby toy into a very dangerous object. On numerous occasions I have been maliciously attacked with a plastic Banana. The tip of that banana has been gouged into my eye, smacked round my head, shoved in my ear and worst of all it has been forced down my throat with such intensity it cut my gums. I am not sure if having a phobia of plastic fruit has ever been diagnosed before but I am pretty sure that is something that I have developed.

Wolverine Claws – I don’t know if there is something in his milk but my son’s fingernails seem to grow at the pace of bamboo shoots, as soon as I cut them they are back again with double the strength. What could be interpreted as my son playfully scratching textiles is in fact him honing his nails into dagger shapes. I have scars of scratches everywhere and the make-up is no longer covering my secret as my work colleagues have started to suspect something.

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Oink oink: Peppa Pig and the police car


Earlier this morning, out and about, driving around in the car.
Shopping to be done, just a little, then to the playground, not our regular one but an old favourite, a special treat for The G, still a touch unwell and needing something to cheer.
Good times – better than normal, in fact, The W, taking a little annual leave, leading us on our expedition – but, lunchtime approaching, back to the car to start heading home.
En route, The B looking out of his window, seeing what he could spot, road signs, other cars, unusual dogs, all the normal stuff.
Slowing down for a junction, I spotted a police car, parked at the pavement, so far unnoticed from the back seats.
“Police car,” I said, pointing it out as I passed.
The B looked out and noted said vehicle.
“Pigs,” said The G.
Stunned silence in the car.

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Dad to Benjamin & Abigail

Never a Dull Moment

Never a Dull Moment

While laying on his back, he started making some bubbles. He announced them “bubbles!” Then suddenly he stood up with a panicked look on his face. I reached out to grab him and sit him down. (there’s no standing in the bath tub) When I did, he grabbed my arm with both hands and started to grab onto me with his legs too.

I said “Whoa buddy? What’s the matter?” He looked at the water, pointed and said “uh-oh” I looked and there was a little poop nugget. “No biggie. I’ll fix that for you kid.” As I swung him a few inches to the left I saw them. An East River Brown Trout and his friend the Bronze Dolphin. (there’s nothing funnier than poop jokes/stories)
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idiosyncratic wind


While i understand the reasons we don’t want to “push the kids too hard”, i maintain that we need to push them into situations that may be uncomfortable or ones that we, as parents, know are best for them. if we notice that a. or h. has a talent for playing the drums, i think that it would be a disservice to them if we excuse them for practicing because they “don’t want to”. of course there is an age appropriateness to this, but becoming good at something takes discipline – we all need someone to push us. would you encourage your child to go out for soccer if you knew they wouldn’t make the team? right now my answer is yes. as much as it will hurt watching their disappointment, i think it is something that is necessary to growth. that something is failure. everyday i write this blog i have to focus. some days it is easier than others. some passages i re-re ad and think i nailed it – others i get embarrassed reading my own words, but i told myself that regardless of how i felt, i would write, and that i would try to get better. even if it isn’t “getting better”, that i would have the discipline to finish something. this is something that i struggle with. i have ideas coming out of every orifice of my body.

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Stay at Home Dad Blog

Part 1 – The Bully Debate: Is all bullying bad?

Bullying had been a hot topic over the past couple of years, not because it has increased in frequency, but awareness in part because of social networking and the digital age. Kids are not only being bullied at school but now online, where there is a higher likelihood it will be seen by an adult. With the increase in awareness, are we likely to see a decline in or elimination of bullying in the future?

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A Point Arrives When You Can’t Remember the Way Out

The house had a certain eccentric charm when we first inspected it. We were smitten by its odd shapes and its coy alcoves; the gentle peregrinations of its halls and their decorative little rooms. The fire crackled and the walls glowed.

Tonight the walls were the colour of despair: smudged, speckled with mould in grotty corners (mould!), the flattened thoraxes of stunned mosquitoes smeared where lucky hands had caught them, corners chipped and switches greasy with a thousand unwashed, wandering fingers. And the floor, God, the floor. School has brought confidence, curiosity, a burgeoning literacy (and a still reluctant numeracy), and tides of scribbled-on paper. Where sentiment and pride kept the first creased pages that came back with trembling letters spelling out their names, now fierce tides of crap spew daily from their incontinent schoolbags. The floor is obscured by drifts of these fugitive documents: spelling tests, art projects, father’s day cards, mother’s day cards, cards for no particular reason, abstract collations of lines and colours with phonetically mangled, dementedly written annotations.

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It’s A Dad’s Life

Don’t Flash Children

You know how you hear of people who develop a phobia due to something that happened to them when they were a child? Well yesterday I though I’d done that to my daughter.

After a wonderful day of play, smiles and almost giggles, we were in the kitchen, with Olivia on her bouncy chair. She was transfixed by my purple t-shirt, so me being me, I thought she’d find it funny if I whipped the t-shirt up and showed her my stomach – I know, sounds odd when you write it but it seemed like it’d be funny at the time.

What should have produced smiles and excitement, maybe even happy surprise, actually caused what can only be described as horror movie shock. Her arms rotated at the shoulder, hands up, her eyes opened as wide as they could go, the bottom lip dropped and then the tears started! I know I don’t have the toned abs I used to, but they aren’t that offensive!

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The Dude Of The House

Your Name is What??

The Dude Of The House

When I heard the recent announcement that David and Victoria Beckham named their newborn daughter ”Harper Seven Beckham”, I asked myself that timeless question: What is wrong with people today?

Harper Seven shouldn’t come as a complete shock. After all, the Beckhams stretched the limites of the bizarre-meter years ago when they named named their three sons Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz. Obviously things have changed since the days of Fred MacMurray and the 1960s TV show “My Three Sons”, whose names were Mike, Robbie and Richie Douglas. The most extreme name on that show came from the adopted fourth son Ernie, who was known as Chip.

According to the Social Security Administration, in 2010 “Harper” was the 119th most popular name given to a baby girl in the US. In 2004, it was the 887th most popular. With the Beckhams bestowing it upon their daughter, it is sure to rise quickly in the rankings this year and next, for better or worse.

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Sam Christensen

A.Y.S.O. stands for “All Your Saturdays are Ours”. At least that’s what someone told me once a long time ago. Well we’re in the thick of it now. At long last our daughter is in organized soccer and today was the 5th or 6th Saturday in a row where we had to be up and at ‘em and on the field by the time we’re usually just tapping into the Saturday morning Starbucks.

There are times when my daughter is bullish on soccer, and times when she’s bearish. But the cold, hard reality is that soccer isn’t her thing. She does it, and seems to have fun while she’s doing it, but mostly she just likes getting dressed up in the uniform, cleats and shin-guards. When she’s out on the field she often gets caught up just watching the action, even as a scrum of 5-year-olds passes right by her trying to remember which direciton to kick the ball.

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Take my mother in law…


From this BBC News webpage newspage thing we find that ‘a quarter of mothers think their relationship with their mother-in-law is the most stressful part of being a parent.A survey of 2,000 mothers by online support group Netmums also suggests that a third of them regularly argue with their partners due to her meddling.’

I’m going to address this from my perspective, and talk about my mother-in-law. I’m not going to put in any dodgy mother-in-law jokes, I’m just going to tell it as it is. Get yourself a cuppa. Or a drink. Or both.

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Floyds Dad

Floydsdad In Padstow


There is something addictive about going crabbing with the youngest. She loves it so much,we have done it on an almost daily basis on each of the three visits we have made to Padstow. I must enjoy it too, as I can’t think of anything else that would drive me to force myself out of bed at 5.30 am to go and spend an hour in a refrigerated wind tunnel cutting up chunks of rotten fish, stabbing myself at least twice with the hook, and tying myself up with 50 feet of twine on a regular basis.

I am guessing that crabs are not that intelligent, as there is no particular skillinvolved in hoisting them out of the harbour. This one however was as cunning as a fox.it had clearly worked out what happens when you stumble across a chunk of mackerel with a string attached to it, and had developed the art of turning over as it was lifted from the water, deftly grabbing a chunk of fish with one pincer, whilst giving the crab equivalent of ‘two fingers’ with the other one, before releasing it’s grip and laughing as only crabs can, as it dropping back into the sea. Today however, it had failed to bargain for the perserverance of the youngest, who finally lowered it bucket-wards to the bemusement of the staff at Chough’s Bakery, who were treated to the sight of a middle aged man moon-walking along the quayside, and punching the air.

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Three Little Flowers

Cuddle not Cudgel

Three Little Flowers

We are into the last fortnight. 12 days to go before the arrival of the twins and we have been trying to introduce L to the idea that she will have 2 little sister to share her life with. I’m not sure how successfully you can do this with a one year old but I wonder if her recent determination to learn how to walk is a response to the threat of the imminent competition!

K has been spending the last couple of weeks introducing L to a doll and teaching her to care for her and most importantly to be gentle with her. It’s very cute when she strokes her head, gives her a kiss, goes aahhh and puts a blanket protectively over her. It was all going so well.

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Mutterings of a Fool

The great New Zealand adventure

Mutterings of a Fool
Rotorua was our last night in the camper van, a slightly bittersweet feeling. As much as we were looking forward to being in a ‘proper’ bedroom again and not having to go outside in the freezing cold to use the bathroom we had really enjoyed our time in the van. It was the perfect size for the 3 of us, it was surprisingly comfortable to sleep in and also was the place we had spent the last 2 weeks relaxing in with Matilda. We’d loved the evenings just chilling out once Matilda was asleep reading, surfing the internet, drinking wine and snuggled under the duvet to keep warm. We’d woken to some spectacular views, watched many miles of scenery pass by the window, laughed until we cried, made grand plans for the next few years and had some moments that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I feel like I have really got to know Matilda in these past few weeks, I know what her different cries mean, I can make her laugh out loud, I’ve had my eyes and face poked and watched as she learned to sit. I’ve taken hundreds of photo’s and lots of videos to record those moments and memories for ever. This has been the best holiday. EVER. Me and my girls, who could ask for more?

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Dad of Divas

30 Days to Becoming a Better Parent Day 19: Visit The YMCA, It’s Not Just A Song

Dad of Divas

Today’s children have more and more opportunities to remain sedimentary. They have every type of technology at their fingertips and whether it be television, video games, the computer or other such activities, they can sit for hours inside instead of being outside remaining active.
The challenge with this is that many of our children are beginning to have problems with their health and being overweight due to this lack of exercise.

In examining some of the facts I came across some interesting statistics on this topic at the following site (http://www.fitnessforkids.org/home.htm)

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Daddy By Default

Horrible Ways to Name Your Baby

Daddy By Default

Naming your baby is one of the first decisions you’ll make as new parents (no pressure there, right?). Here are some ideas of how NOT to name your baby.
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What do you want to be when you grow up?

I asked my 4 year old daughter yesterday what she wanted to be when she grew up. She thought about it for a bit and then replied ‘I don’t know’. I’d thrown her with that question but totally relate to her answer – I’m 32 years her senior and I still don’t know!

What I’d really like to be is a RockStar, failing that, I wouldn’t mind choosing what music is used in TV programmes.

As you’ve probably guessed by now, I’m quite into music so this probably doesn’t come as a surprise. Unless my ukulele playing goes well, and I become the new uke playing equivalent of Hendrix, I think my RockStar days are numbered. As for the ‘choosing what music is used in TV programmes’ – there’s still a chance!

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Home with Little Jack

Baby’s First Groove

Home with Little Jack

How come when we talk about baby milestones, we talk about their first smile, crawl, steps, words, and poop in the potty—but I haven’t heard much about baby’s first dance? Why not? Dancing is ingrained deep in our psyche. Even if we’re completely inept and uncoordinated, some particularly hoping music will get even the most reluctant person tapping a toe, moving their head, or clapping their hands. Sometimes we don’t even know it, driving along and some particularly funkilicious tune comes on the radio or ipod or 8-track tape or whatever you’re listening to, and you groove. No matter who you are or where you’re from, you groove, just a little bit. It’s no different than taking a deep breath of fresh air or biting into a particularly scrumptious piece of food. You just do it because that’s what you do.

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Diary Of The Dad

Here we go again…

So as I revealed last week at the MAD Blog Awards, on here and, well, everywhere to be honest, Kate and I are expecting our second child in April next year. As was the case when we learned that Dylan was on his way, we are delighted and terrified in equal measure. While we’ve now been there, seen it and done it, there are new neuroses to overcome as well as the return of some of the standard ones that I’m sure all expectant parents experience.

We don’t mind what we have as long as he/she is healthy and grows up to support the right team. We are also concerned – as we were with Dylan – that the new baby will inherit one – or more – of the medical complaints we suffered during our early years. Kate had to undergo an operation on one of her eyes and I was born with terrible hearing and also had to go under the knife. As a result of my temporary ‘almost-deafness’, my speech was so bad that, on recordings that my parents still have, I sounded like the Soup Dragon out of Clangers.

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The form to submit for the next Fatherload can be found HERE!


8 comments on “‘The Fatherload’ 22-10-11

  1. SAHDandproud says:

    Thanks very much for all your posts. And please remember we’ll need more for next week. Please tell everyone you know, retweet the messages, tell your friends, get it emblazoned on a t-shirt. Whatever works for you. I’m going with getting it tattooed on my batty cheeks and I’ll be streaking across the stage at tonight’s X Factor.
    Good work.

    • Mammasaurus says:

      Now there’s an image that has me mentally scarred for the rest of today!

    • Floydsdad says:

      Thank you for putting this together. I have to say the thought that people out there actually like what I have written makes all the hours of stress wondering what to write, and putting up with the X-Factor
      (and that God awful Disney Channel), seem worthwhile !
      Cheers !

  2. actuallymummy says:

    Who knew there were this many dad bloggers?! I am super impressed! Keep it up dads!

  3. TheBoyandMe says:

    A brilliant round-up of dad bloggers; I had no idea there were so many of you out there and on twitter. I’ve clicked on a couple of them now to have a goosey-gander so thanks for the introduction.

  4. […] also helped out @LoveDadBlogs but more about that on their site where they showcase the biggest, baddest dad bloggers out there. And some of them are wayyyyyyyy […]

  5. Oh goodness, another load of great blogs to read!! I am loving all the new blogs, particularly the dads as it adds a whole new dimension but MAN I have ironing to do you know!! Am subscribed, shall be back!

  6. Janelle says:

    What a great collection of awesome Dad blogs. yaaaay!

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