Parties, Stats and Stars
Stats is a bit of a dirty word though – I think it’s a bit like turning up to a party in a room full of people you hardly know, casting off your heals, climbing up onto the nearest table and shouting “Yooooohooooo everybody, I have [insert number here] people who are interested in what I say! Suck on THAT!”
Of course social etiquette and SHAME would dictate that you would then make a hasty, red faced exit from said party, heals in hand, never to be seen out in public again.
And that is why I keep my feet firmly on the ground and would never shout about my stats. A lady never tells after all.
EARHAIR: we’ve All Got It In Some Form…
This, as the name suggests, is EARHAIR happening around 40 minutes after lights out. It is a rising crescendo of chest and nasal wheezing which mimics, quite well actually, the mating call of a lion with chronic tonsilitis. The only way to stop it is a swift blow to the clavicals. Sometimes this can stop respiration altogether, depending on the savagery of said blow, but I’ll tell you how to resolve this in a later blog. Or maybe I won’t. Bearability Scale: Not yet a divorce-inciter but getting close to the wire. Requires earplugs or a change of room.
Would I lie to you, baby?
As a parent, I’m guilty of lying to the Wee Man on occasion.
I remember a few months ago, when the Other Half and I were discussing an amusing misinterpretation by the Wee Man – I asked him where he thought the clouds had gone, and he replied ‘the stars ate them’ – I suddenly had a realisation that, as far as he knows, everything we tell him is true.
Twins, twins, twins – it’s all about you!
When I found out I was having more than one baby it was a big shock, but on the way home from the hospital scan I remembered that every game I played with my dolls as a child involved twins (called Mark and Sky if you’re interested and no I didn’t name my children after my dolls that would have been too strange!), I was fascinated with twins at school and was friends with the only two sets in our school (how times change, they are now two sets in my son’s reception class!). My mum also remembered that when I was younger I told everyone that I wanted twins so I only had to be pregnant once. So maybe somewhere along the line my body was trying to tell me something?
The Nutcracker *snigger, snigger* – A Trip To The Ballet With Children
You know how sometimes, something seems like a good idea for a while…and then suddenly you think you may have made a mistake?!
I’m almost 32 and have never been to a ballet. Why? I’ve never faniced it, didn’t think I’d like it. Recently the girls have made similar comments. But how can you say you don’t like something if you’ve never tried it?
So…after a little internet research I booked tickets to see The Nutcracker tomorrow. I thought it would be the perfect introduction to ballet.
We have one (well more than one) problem:
Neither of the girls can say ‘Nutcracker’ without sniggering loudly, then dissolving into a heap laughing and repeating ’NUT!’ ’CRACKER!’. At 8 and 10 years old, anything even remotely rude is pure comedy.
I thought I could remedy the situation by showing them some You Tube clips from the performance so they’d know what to expect.
Our CoombeMill break – Day 1 (Arrival)
We left home early on the Saturday as we knew it would be a fair old drive to CoombeMill in St Breward, Cornwall.
We decided to stop off at Paultons Theme Park on the way as we had brought tickets a few months ago but hadn’t got round to using them. They were due to run out at the end of the month so we thought we’d do it on the way down to Cornwall.
Throughout both my pregnancies other mothers felt it necessary to comment on my size in the way that is almost obligatory when you are ‘with child’. Under no circumstances would a stranger brazenly march up in Sainsbury’s and remark on how large your arse is, but it seems that bumpism is fair game. Mine was apparently ‘extremely small’ which of course had me free-falling into a worry pit and Googling into the early hours, accompanied by much eye-rolling from The Husband.
When my children were born, they were both enormous babies. Huge doughballs with several chins, and cheeks so pendulous they practically dragged along the floor. At my son’s first trip to baby clinic, the Health Visitor carefully plotted his weight on the percentile chart and I watched as her pencil headed into a blank wilderness somewhere above 99.6th.
Oh flip…. Did I say the S word?!!
Stats! Arghhhh! I didn’t realise it was such a naughty word until I asked on Twitter if any bloggers could tell me what is a “good” amount of hits per month or per post….
It turns out it is a naughty word 😉
I’m still a bit new and clueless with this blogging stuff so I’ll tell you where I sit with the stats thing. I look at my stats every day, I like to see what posts have been visited most that day or week and I like to see how many visits I’ve had each month, I even signed up for Google Analytics to see if that showed me any more info about visitors to my blog. You want to know why….? Purely out of interest.
Operation Weight Loss Starts Here!
Operation Weight Loss is a pretty big deal for me. A while ago I blogged about wanting/needing to lose weight. I even shared my weight with you all. I thought it would help motivate me. It didn’t! (read the post here)
But since then I have put on a bit of weight (about 5lbs) and I have succeeded to lose that myself over the last few weeks but now I have some help!
One step forward , 3 steps back
Today i would have been 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant , but instead I’m sat at home explaining to the kids something i don’t really understand myself.
When i had Brad and Beth i took for granted as soon as i saw the two lines that i was going to be a mum and all was going to be well. Maybe naive of me but i was only 21 and 22 when i had them so i can be forgiven for thinking every fairytale ends with a happy ever after.
When my sister Claire was trying for her second she was delighted to get pregnant right away and things progressed well so imagine her horror when at her 12 week scan she was told her baby had died at 6 weeks , and she hadn’t had any signs at all.
One in every nine babies in the UK is born premature or sick. That is over 80,000 babies every year. (Bliss)
As many of you know by now, our first boy, Beanie was born at 33 weeks. He was our little Christmas surprise and a bit of a shock. He and I spent a month in hospital including Christmas and New Year 2003, and it is a time I will never forget. It was the happiest and saddest time of my life and I feel even now, that the emotional roller coaster that it was will never leave me. I feel that hubby and I had very little support from the professionals during our time in hospital, at what it a very stressful and heart wrenching time for any new parent.
I have written about my experiences, twice. Once on my blog and as a short guest blog for Dear Beautiful Boy
The school run baby
When I look back on my first year with Z it was blissful. We would wake up about 8am, go downstairs, make breakfast and eat slowly whilst watching GMTV. Mornings consisted of walks, shopping, baby music, gym classes or meeting friends. It was lovely, relaxed and peaceful. We had all the time in the world to sit, sleep and play.
Fast forward to now, we wake up about 7am, the kids have breakfast while I run around searching for shoes, coats, socks, blankets, nursery bags, school bags, book bags and something for ‘show and share’. If I’m really lucky I get to shovel down a bit of limp toast and some luke warm tea whilst making sure everyone has clean teeth, faces and clothes on the right way round.
Getting shoes on 3 small children is no easy task. Z complains that his feel funny, Little S tries to put on her sparkly party shoes even though its tipping down with rain, and Baby H takes hers off as fast as I can get them on. Eventually we manage to get out of the house with me carrying baby H plus the bags and coats Z and S have refused to carry/wear.
New Way of Food Shopping
Ok I’ll admit it, I’m not the best cook in the world. I do try to attempt new things, granted I’m better at the sweets than I am the savoury!
So a few weeks ago after going through the finances I realised that something needed to change, I could easily go shopping and spend over £100 a week (including toiletries and nappies etc) but really most of this was wasted money, as we had a couple of take aways a week at times too. I used to feed the kids then we would have a take away in the evening.
What? Wednesday – Le Supermarchet
So we are in Sainsburgs and I’m surprisingly feeling a little nervous. Apples, bananas, broccoli and nappies get thrown in the trolley. I check out the dairy and cold meat sections but too many shoppers lolling about. I’m feeling self conscious. I know I have to break my What? Wednesday cherry. In goes yogurt, pasta, cereal, raisins and bread and then my eyes set upon the quiet oasis that is the freezer section. ‘Quick Little A, here’s our chance. Lets go!’.
We sold my beloved Mini Cooper and replaced it with a C-Max.
Yes, we have a grown-up family car.
You know you’re a grown up when you have tray tables.
I was pregnant; with a bump all full of baby and expectations.
And now I’m a mummy; all full of love.
My hubby has left his old job,
a job he only took in the first place so that we could move in together.
And now he’s started on a new career path.
We have gone from a two-wage family;
to a one-and-a-half wage family;
to a one wage family.
It’s definitely been a year of changes for us.
And I’ve saved the biggest and best change until last.
We became a family this year.
Let’s talk about sex baby…
A couple of nights ago I was watching a TV programme. Halfway through it there was a scene featuring a couple entering into an illicit sexual relationship. I welcome such distractions given the rather arid period I am going through at the moment and think there should be more gratuitous sex on TV, however as delighted as I was to see full a on shag session in the middle of a programme about the jury in a murder trial, I couldn’t help but consider the fact that they were standing up, half dressed and both came quicker than you could say that man needs to seek help for his premature ejaculation.
Just another thing to know as mom… noonies!
Now being a nurse there are many things I knew to look out for in my babies but that did not include a closing noonie aka vagina!
I first noticed this on my eldest when she was about 4-5 months old when changing her nappy. I suddenly noticed there was a white/clear layer of skin closing the bottom half of her noonie. Obviously we booked her a GP appointment straight away to get it checked.
I was pretty surprised to hear that it is a really common problem in little girls aged 3 months to 6 years. It’s due to low estrogen levels in prepubesant girls and irritation/inflammation from wet nappies etc.
Generally it’s not a problem if it’s an incomplete closure however it can close completely and cause urinary tract infections, itching and leakage when passing urine as the urine gets stuck .
Disgusting Gastronmical Delights
“Mama – what’s for tea?”
“Chicken wraps darling – with yummy grated cheese and peppers, totally nutritionally balanced for your growing bodys needs, made with love and effort for you and even though your father and I prefer spicy food we’ll be eating this bland meal with you because we love to all eat together – it’s special family time”
“YUCK! No mama I want chocolate spread!”
It’s happened to the best of us, we’ve tried to make something a bit different for tea time, try a new recipe, something we are convinced that our little darlings will savour and gobble up double quick – after all it’ll have all the things they love in -right ? Wrong ! Generally even if you put all their foodie faves on the plate in one mish-mash meal chances are they’ll greet it with suspicion.
For example, only this morning I was thinking how I had had to put peas on Kittys plate for a month or so before she’d even try them. However she once stole an olive from my plate and now eats 10 a day every day without fail. Such is the joy of toddler feeding – there is no logic and it cannot be second guessed so my advice is just give up and go with it… Which got me thinking – for all the yummy things I have unsuccessfully tried to get the kids to taste there are an equal amount of disgusting things that I have caught my children munching on over the years…(and yes these are true things that I have caught my delightful brood eating )