Welcome to Week 4!
And here’s a BIG welcome to newbies and old friends alike.
I’m not really sure what week it is, or even what day it is – it’s been a busy old week with birthdays and cake and celebrations and more cake! – but I did get round to reading all of your posts. Thank you for last week’s Showcase; there really was quite a variety of great posts and the funny thing is that they all got me thinking about one thing – “normality”.
I mean, what is “normal”? Is it the opposite of abnormal, the usual and just plain regular? Are any of us truly “normal”? Sane, with average personality and intellect – surely not! Does “normal” actually exist? Apart from serving to establish a standard – which no one can live up to but many will try to… Do we strive for “normality”? Perhaps… I know that I do sometimes, I wonder if you do, too? There are days when I don’t want to be different: I want my family to be a regular, run of the mill, normal family with 2.4 children and a dog (and a cat and a couple of goldfish), who goes on holiday twice a year and is always having fun. But then I stop myself, seeking some sort of reality, and ask “does normal family life really exist?”
Are our lives “normal”? No, not in the conventional way perhaps, as many of us have children with special needs, but, yes, they are normal for us. We all find a new sense of normal and we continue to do so probably on a daily basis: after the “diagnosis, after each stage of acceptance, after setbacks, after illness, after changes in our lives. We redefine what is normal even though each day we are blessed with is anything but normal: but this is our normal and we are living it, one day at a time, as best as we can. We see ourselves as no different to others – we are not superhuman, we are not heroes (although I do have days of grandeur!) – and we want to be accepted just as we are. Just as we want our children to be accepted too – just as they are – special needs, disability and all.
So tell me, are you “normal”? Do you strive for “normality”? Or are we all really looking for acceptance?
‘Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.’ Whoopi Goldberg
Introduction kindly written by Sheonad from Touch and Tickle
Mums help mums – Seth – what’s normal anyway?
The first sign that he was different to other babies was when he was a few months old. He was a moody, irritable baby with stiff limbs at times. At only a few months old he developed an odd habit of moving his hands almost involuntary. He was doing this for hours at a time, the only way to describe this was if you imagine the movement involved in revving a motorbike. If he was not ‘revving his invisible bike’ he was holding his hands in tight fists.
Northernmum – Breaking my heart
My smallest child has the ability to emotionally destroy me, she can break my heart with a simple action.
Today she wandered away from my side in a cinema aisle after the act of watching a full feature-length movie became all too much for her. To amuse herself and me she would wobble five steps away and then turn and run, as best one can with a dislocated hip, and throw herself into my arms, finishing the act with a high-pitched giggle of joy.
A boy With Aspergers – Aspergers – Worrying what the future holds
When you mention that your child has Aspergers Syndrome, most that have some understanding of the syndrome, just think the characteristics are a lacking in social interaction skills, literal understanding, or an intense special interest. There is so much more to Aspergers then this!
The life and times of Team Kitchen – The path to diagnosis
We have been walking for such a long time now, just the three of us. Admittedly we bought our maps and were sure we knew the way to go many months before the trip was planned, but somehow, although they were for the places and milestones we wished to visit, these maps never did quite fit.
But still, we had bought strong sturdy boots, the small ones were even piedros, and so ever hopeful… we kept on walking.
On the way we were offered a helping hand from a Dr. but we smiled poliety and said ‘not just yet…’
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Not As Advertised – Haircuts and Son2 – handle with care!
For most mums, going to the hairdressers is a treat. It makes you feel better, walking out of the salon knowing your hair looks good.
The same cannot be said for many children, especially those on the autistic spectrum.
For our boys, haircuts have always been a major undertaking often accompanied by teeth gritting, hand clenching and when they were younger writhing and screaming.
Goldilocks And My Three Bears – Goldilocks, The TARDIS And The Sparkling Kidneys
A week ago today Goldilocks was due her DMSA scan of the kidneys, to check her kidney function. Unaware of what was ahead, Goldilocks was thrilled to have a day off school. The letter I’d had from the hospital contained little useful information, just “Please note a needle is used to inject the isotope”. Great, I thought, Goldilocks will love that! The letter also said that she would have to remain still for quite some time so I should bring a favourite toy or DVD with me.
Random Pearls Of Wisdom – Table for Two Sir ? (If Only)
we hardly ever go out for lunch with my son these days because it can be a minefield of things waiting to go wrong. He has food issues and
The Bright Side of LIfe – Parents to Parents ~ advice for newbies!
I have a child with autism, or if you prefer, I have an autistic child. It doesn’t matter what description I use, I still have a child with a disability. He is autistic and his diagnosis is not going to change! I also have this blog… a blog that describes my experiences. I am one voice of many different voices. You might not like my voice but that is ok ~ I am comfortable with that. You have to find the voice that fits you, the one that you are comfortable with! This post is about sharing information.
Looking for Blue Sky – Mr Angry
If you were nine and your Mum, said: “Let’s go to the beach! Just you and me, we’ll leave the girls at home.” Wouldn’t you be a just a wee bit delighted? A chance to get Mum all to yourself for a bit and talk about boy stuff. Well not my little aspie boy.
Tricky Customer – It’s all relative
Lately I’ve noticed that quite a few people have apologised to me for things they’ve said about their children.
For example just the other day my friend who has a son with cerebral palsy apologised to me for ‘going on’ in her words about her worries for him when she realises that her son is in a better situation than Samuel. I adore her son. I adore both her children. I love hearing about them and do also worry about him and hope that her boy will thrive and overcome his obstacles.
Tricky Customer – New chapter
You know the advert where the family have booked a package, all-inclusive foreign holiday and throughout their journey right up to and including arriving at the hotel they are treated like VIPs?
Well I had that feeling today. That lovely fuzzy feeling where everyone is so very pleased you are there and they’ve been really looking forward to meet you.
But we weren’t on holiday, we were at Julia’s House.
touch & tickle – In the beginning, my heart broke
A thought-provoking piece written sometime ago, but I stumbled across it today – how did you feel shortly after your child’s diagnosis?
“My heart and mind broke about a year ago – into how many pieces I do not know – when SMA came into our lives. Thankfully and slowly, with a little love, grace and faith, they are piecing themselves back together, but I know that there remains a gaping hole in my heart which will surely never mend… ”
Little Mamma Said – Que Sera Sera
Many of you know how scared I have been to leave the house with Little H. It is not an irrational fear either. Having resuscitated him twice now at the side of the road, I am terrified that his last moments should be spent lying in the cold and wet. There is never going to be a good time, but cars rushing past while I kneel in the mud trying to get him to breathe surely has to be one of the worst