05-12-11 ‘The Royal Mumness’ Page One

Actually Mummy…

Letters to Santa

Actually Mummy...Dear Santa,

I will be a little late submitting my letter to you this year. You see, Mummy won’t let me on the computer. She says she is too busy using it to blog, and that my spending 4 hours browsing the Toys R Us website is not a priority. Which is unfortunate, because I don’t really know what I want. I’m sure once I have had access to the computer I will have a list of tat as long as my arm that I really need, so please rest assured that my letter will be available to view just as soon as NaPloBooMop is finished at the end of November. I love you Santa, GG xxxx

PS, are you really true……?

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Mummy on the Edge

Cockroaches & Dustbunnies

Do you ever talk to yourself? You know, in your head? Well I do. I answer myself too – I’m not rude ! “no, you’re not” ” I know!”. I was doing it a lot last night at work. It really cheered me up. I have tried talking to a cup of tea before at home, but that didn’t have the same effect (cup of tea was VERY rude and didn’t answer me!). I pre-warned my sister-in-law that this was the kind of thing that happened after having children (talking to cups of tea, not yourself). I have now found it quite comforting, although I have stopped talking to my cup of tea….

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Friends are like plants…

WorkingMammy…they need watering every now and then”. That’s a rule that I live by. I have friends I have known from birth, friends from school, friends from Uni and many from work. My friends all offer me something different. My friend, Lisa, is like the big sister I never had. We grew up living next door to each other, hence she is known as “Lisa Next Door”. I am sure she has despaired with me over the years. While she met and then married the love of her life at a young age, she had to watch me stumble along from one disastrous relationship to another throughout my twenties. She has laughed with me, cried with me and, most importantly, helped me in my early days as a mother. She took me home from hospital with a 3 day old Jake while my hubby started his new career. In the early days of motherhood, I would drive to her house having had zero sleep. She’d let me shower and have sleep while she looked after my son. Actions like that, at a time of real need, mean true friendship. It’s help I will never forget and always be thankful for.

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Hello Wall….

Ho bloody Ho!

Hello Wall....Tomorrow, I am off to the Wealden Times Midwinter Fair where I plan to potter around the stalls sans children and will graciously bestow my heartfelt empathy on those mothers who turn up with their Phil & Ted’s spilling out small children, sticky snacks and muddy wellingtons. Actually, that’s not true. Because I would never dream of undertaking such a thing. We all do it once and leave in a hot flush, nothing bought and close to tears of sheer desperation, wondering what on earth possessed you to think it would be a nice morning out. Children and craft fair type things do not mix. Middle aged, Boden-clad women selling Christmas Wreaths and wooden hearts on bits of rustic string do not usually blend well with toddler aged, bogey-clad kiddies, picking apart Christmas wreaths and playing conkers with hearts on bits of string. No doubt I shall come away with something gingham or something wicker.
I can’t help myself.

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Mum of One

Top Five Ways to Keep Your Man Happy This Christmas

Mum of OneRELAX MUM, I am not turning the blog all x-rated, deep breaths, there you go. No, we are talking gifts here people. Man gifts.

If, like me, you struggle every year to find interesting, amusing gifts for himself indoors, and find the ‘FOR HIM’ catalogue section full of gifts that don’t really seem appropriate for anyone under the age of 80 with their faculties intact, never fear. I am here to help.

I have decided to put together a list of the top five gifts Mr B received over the last twelve months in the hope of giving you some inspiration for this years shopping frenzy. They are mostly Dad-related but hey, this is a parenting blog after all. And I PROMISE there is not a comedy-mug in sight.

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Creativity, Art and 4 Year Olds

NLP MumHamish brought some art home today. He obviously had a great time “making” it, he proudly put the kitchen roll tubes on his arms and stuck his arms in front of him “look I’m a mummy” he said and proceeded to wander round the house wearing his mummy costume for 20 minutes. On to the egg box….. we haven’t had any explanation of the egg box. Seemingly no glue was involved. I have no idea what the contents are – craft matchsticks I recognise and the rest seems to be shredded black plastic bags and other bits of random plastic and bits of wool. So far I have cleared it up from the sitting room floor twice…. so far.

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Bod for tea

But why?

Bod for teaNo. Stop. Rewind. I’m not ready yet. It’s too soon. She’s too young. I haven’t prepared enough. I’M NOT READY.

But she is ready. And so it begins. Words that strike fear into the heart of any Mother…

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A Small Hand In Mine

Children and the Media

I dislike computer games, pointless cartoons and expensive “must-have” toys. I dont shield my son completely from these things, but I do think they should be monitored and limited.

See, I dont think that moving an imaginary charcter around a screen is the best thing to do with your time, I think there are far more important or useful things. I think its nice that he quite enjoys watching Ben 10 and gets interested in the story and can chat about it with his friends every now and then, but I also think its important that he doesnt spend too much time with his face glued to a screen, oblivious of the real world around him.

I think its nice that he sees a great toy in a shop and asks for it for his birthday, but to be bombarded at such a young age with adverts and media persuading him to want something because of its brand or the fact that it has a catchy jingle on the advert is not

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A Mummy Too

A surreal experience for kids at The Collection

A Mummy TooPassing through a garden gate, we found ourselves in a wonderfully surreal garden full of odd little signs, sounds and a ‘valley of lost dolls’ – neglected toys mingled among the grass. Here started the story of a little girl which continued throughout the installation.

After Joel had finished exploring the garden, we passed through a ‘secret passage’ into a dark room covered entirely (even the ceiling) in soft grass-like material and lit with a soft green light.

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Adventures of an Ordinary Parent

Siblings: Worlds apart from the start

Adventures of an Ordinary ParentIn my last post, I talked about my pregnancy with Sophia, the diagnosis of talipes and her subsequent treatment. When I became pregnant for a second time, I thought I knew what to expect and was prepared for any potential hiccups along the way. Silly me!

Sophia and Dexter are two totally different people, with individual personalities and quirks. You may say that it’s to be expected – of course, they have their own special characteristics – but what I certainly didn’t expect was that their differences would be so obvious even before Dexter was born.

Pregnancy second time around is not necessarily a simple, straight-forward walk in the park. What you experience may be completely different from your first pregnancy. That was certainly the case for me…

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Yellow Days

I’ve got a list and I’m not afraid to use it

At eight o’clock on Tuesday night Hubs got a call to say he had to be somewhere down south (Bournemouth, Brighton? something like that) first thing in the morning and he didn’t get back until after the boys had gone to bed tonight. This happens at least once a month and PISSES ME RIGHT OFF!

I used to get stroppy about this happening and we’d have a row about how he needed to prioritise his family or I needed to understand his work commitments. Obviously, this never got us anywhere so I have now developed a much more passive aggressive way of relieving my frustration.

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Cheetahs In My Shoes

The Cheetah’s Christmas Underpants

Cheetahs In My ShoesThe Cheetahs have their underpants
You’ve read that all before
But with 9 big groups of Cheetahs
They’ve got to need a drawer

You’d never have suspected
That some white Ikea plastic
Would become so important
For storing pants elastic

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The Princess and The Pickle

Christmas at Marwell – The Pickle meets Pickle the Penguin!

The Princess and The PickleWe arrived in darkness, shortly after the wildlife park had closed for the day, and were greeted at the entrance by friendly staff who were handing out stickers and magical maps for all the children. We had managed to keep the evening a surprise for The Princess until she overheard people talking about Santa – then a huge smile swept across her face! The Pickle was also excited, but for other reasons. On the short walk from the car park he had seen huge posters of tigers and monkeys and was now completely hyper and looked so cute toddling around in his Rudolph hat as we waited for the road train to collect us…

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