12-12-11 The Royal Mumness Page One

A Mummy Too

All I want for Christmas is…

A Mummy Too

This time last year, I caught one helluva chest infection and spent Christmas laid up in bed, coughing up blood and unable to see much of my family. I have been vowing all year that Christmas 2011 will be different; that I will make it a special day for my lovely, growing family. To make that happen, here’s what I want for Christmas…

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The Bling Buoy

Widget and the apple bran muffins

The Bling Buoy

Oh lordy! I simply cannot dissipate this feeling of euphoric pride over the fact that I not only know what a widget is, but I know what do with one. When did I become so clever! For those who think a widget is just a disturbing rabbit/robot hybrid from children’s tv show Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! (as summed up my wordly understanding of widgets until a week ago), a widget is a button or link on a website that allows you to do stuff, like “subscribe” to a blog or “like” it on Facebook. And I now know how to install one!! On a website! Warning: Head. Seriously. Swelling. Out. Of. Control!

As soon as I realized that I had successfully created my own website – complete with widgets – I immediately starting cyber-stalking my high school Computer Science teacher to inform him that I had not continued to be “a complete waste of kilobytes” as he had cheerfully anticipated. I had proved him wrong dammit and I knew he would want to know. No, he would need to know. I had in fact become his star pupil! He would be euphoric too!

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Ju’s musings on life

Falling on deaf ears

Ju's musings on life

The Seven Year Old appears to not hear much of what I say. Correction. The Seven Year Old usually does hear and understand what I say but selectively chooses to not listen. This is unexpected. Surely this shouldn’t begin happening for another 5 or so years? Naive? Possibly.

In stark contrast The Baby appears to listen intently and hang on to every word I utter. Understanding nothing but soaking it all up whilst staring at me adoringly and rewarding the words and sounds with smiles and coos. Make the most of it lady I tell myself….it’s all downhill on the listening front from here on in.

Thankfully, The Seven Year Old and The Baby do seem to listen to each other. The Seven Year Old is an excellent big brother. As for The Husband…he does a great job of appearing to listen but sometimes cracks under questioning.

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Cloudy days

A depression hangs over the British Isles. Grey clouds pack together and smother the sun. Tiny drops spit down. The days get shorter and colder. While we press our noses against the back door and stare at the muddy garden I feel trapped in myself. The dark clouds drape a grey veil over my eyes and I am losing myself. Who is this mad, freaky woman? Who lost her patience miles ago, and whirls through the house like a cranky tornado? Who rushes from euphoria to desperation, driven yet stressed, till only exhaustion remains? From a distance I observe, and I think, this should be different. Better.

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Preston Precious

One thing that my child does that makes me laugh

Preston Precious

How she reacts when her Daddy gets home from work. She goes mad!

As soon as she sees him her face lights up and she gets so excited! This means the world to me and always makes me laugh and feel very happy. She is a proper Daddy’s girl, which makes me very happy. She loves her Daddy cuddles in the morning and she loves him coming home in the evening. It’s almost like she is going to faint as she goes so rigid, holds her breath a little and kicks her legs in excitement. The first thing that Russell does when he gets in is gives Amelie a cuddle so he loves her dearly too.

I am pleased she loves him so much as he is the best Dad and a wonderful Fiancé. I love him too.

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Hello Wall….

Fergus is in the Dog House

Fergus is driving me mad with his chewing!! He only has a few puppy teeth left and I thought that the mustard powder on the doorpost had put him off, but no – he moves on to other, far more destructive behaviour.

Yesterday he chewed up Eldest’s newly bought Christmas decoration for the tree and two plaster of paris fairy badges that she had made and painted as presents for the grandmas. This morning he regurgitated the most revolting object on to the rug. It looked like some sort of black furball come poo but turned out to me my son’s half-digested school sock. To cap it all, I have just found him chewing up Baby Jesus from my newly bought Russian doll nativity (good old John Lewis). ‘Jesus, Fergus!’ I proclaimed with great literal satisfaction.

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Jacy Brean

The Runaway Children – Miles and Alice reach dry land

“THAT” began Alice, darkly, “was quite definitely THE most embarrassing thing that’s ever, ever happened to me! What DO you look like, Miles!”
As it happened, Miles was not dressed in the best possible taste. Most of his clothes had been thrown on willy-nilly and he’d chosen them more for comfort than anything else. Besides, he liked his orange sweatshirt, and thought the royal blue poppers were a perfect match.
“I’m sorry, Alice,” he said, affecting the most sarcastic tone he could muster “but when you’ve like a billion evil people running after you and kidnapping your family you don’t stop to think what goes with what. YOU try getting dressed when there’s murdering maniacs in the house after your blood and see what YOU look like!”
“Who were those men, anyway” said Alice. “What do they want with us?”

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Mums on the Blog

The Bogie Blog … or why every mother MUST pack a hankie …

Mums on the Blog

My beautiful son, becoming the famous (or infamous) Zack of hurtling into the fray of bull runs Blog, was innocently playing in the sand when he said “Mummy something’s wrong with my nose ….” I looked up from my book, felt my blood run cold as I took in the scene.

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Frau Welle – The Life of a Finnish Mum in Germany

Ready, Set, Go!

Frau Welle - The Life of a Finnish Mum in Germany

My daughter has find her a new favorite way to pass time. She takes my finger and walks me through our long hall back to our study. There she pulls me down and indicates she wants to tumble with me. I guess she got this idea, while her grandma was visiting us. The guest bed is not there anymore, but we do the tumbling on the carpet.

After she is finished with this, she goes to the door on all fours and looks over her shoulder. She has this ‘are you ready for a challenge’ expression on her face. Then we race back to the living room crawling, both of us.

This can be done SEVERAL times a day.

Let me add that the hall is quite long and there are stone tiles on the floor.

The result? Well, the competition is usually quite tight, but more visible result can be found in my knees…

Being a Hausfrau can be quite painful 😉

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ten on tuesday – the vomit episode.

Is it really only tuesday? Feels like a lot more time has past since the weekend…

So hang in there for this ten on tuesday it might be somewhat focused all things ick…please dont carry on reading if you are having your lunch or dinner…you’ll see why..

bear with me.

1. I mentioned on twitter the middle of last week how we were visiting with the winter vomiting bug in our house. Well it came in, pulled up a chair and settled down for a long stint. All is well with D&V’s in our house till one of the big guns is taken out (aka mummy or daddy) then it all starts to go south…

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Parental Parody

First World Trauma

Parental Parody

I very nearly suffered a panic attack last week.

I was running late and the twins were being extra evil mischievious, and quite frankly I just needed to get out of the house.

So I threw together a bag of essentials, and off we went to the shopping centre.

I ran the gauntlet of strategically placed money-sappers (coin operated kiddy rides).

I found a trolley to plonk the twins in that didn’t have a seat at the front, which meant I didn’t have to spend the entire time refereeing who got the seat, or explain why neither got the seat in the interest of fairness.

Of course, it was a dodgy older trolley, so I pushed it like a drunken hunchback of Notre Dame in order to attempt to accurately steer the possessed bloody thing.

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Parental Parody

Wine Science

Parental Parody

In honour of my birthday yesterday, I’ve written a post dedicated to wine and my wine consumption over the years, since I (was old enough to nick it from my parents’ wine cabinet) became of the legal age of consumption.

I’ve carried out extensive and in-depth wine research over the years.

There’s nothing I’ve dedicated more time and effort to, in fact.

As a result, I’ve noticed a pattern, a trend in relation to my wine consumption over the past 6 years – since I became a parent.

So I’m going to detail the differences as follows :

BC : Before Children

After Child 1 : 2006 – 2009

Currently : From the twins arrival in 2009, to today

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