12-12-11 The Royal Mumness Page Two

Managing The Mayhem

Ernie The Elf Comes To Stay

Managing The Mayhem

Today Ernie the Elf has come to stay in the Mayhem household. He will be staying with us until Christmas and will report back to Farther Christmas on the children’s behaviour.

He will be meeting D1 for the first time tonight after school and has brought with him a little note to introduce himself. Now he looks quite sweet and innocent with those BIG brown eyes but don’t let appearances fool you, he has all kinds of mischief lined up. Tonight he will raid the Christmas treat box and D1 will find him, in the morning, on the living room floor, surrounded by the contents of a large tub of quality street! Naughty Elf. He has also told me that he thinks knickers make great Christmas tree decorations so there is another little adventure for him.

I would love it if you have any more ideas of things our naughty little house guest could get up to.

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The Good Parent Guide

Tips on Buying Christmas Presents on a Budget

The Good Parent Guide

I love christmas and enjoy buying and giving presents as well as receiving them :). However I do understand the fears of a small bank balance and spiralling costs. Here are some useful tips on how to Keep The Costs Down without a Bar Humbug!

1. Budget

Sit down and work out what you can afford and then what you need to buy. Christmas is about spending time with family and soaking up the happy atmosphere. It shouldn’t be about debt and worry.

2. Save Throughout The Year

I am yet to do this one. Sounds good in theory but if your like me there is always something else to save for and come October your then thinking about Christmas. It would be less stressful to put something by each month if you can afford it.

There are seven more tips to read

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Top plan for getting bubs to quit dummies and bottles


I’ve been thinking for a while about how I can get the tinkerous toddler to stop having her milk in a bottle. She drinks water and fruit juice from a sippy cup and at times a regular little beaker. But, suggest having milk in anything other than a bottle and her eyes fill with horror. Try ploughing ahead anyway and my ears fill up with the horrible noises that only a disgruntled toddler can make.

Then, earlier this week, I was lucky enough to catch a tweet from mummy blogger Cheshire Mum, also known on Twitter as @cheshire_claire. The tweet was about her plan to use a little ‘magic’ to entice her daughter to give up her bottle. Intrigued, I asked for more detail…

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The Life and Times of The Working Mum

Life & Trials – Debut

This is my debut into blogging! It was never something I thought I would consider, but until recently I never really had anything to write about that people may relate too? Under it all I guess I could use a few outside views and opinions, reassurance everything will be okay.
My name is Laura, I am 21 and I work in administration – I have an amazing other half and 16 weeks ago…… I found out I was pregnant.
This was never the plan, not in these years of my life anyway. I wanted more financial stability & above all I wanted to plan every detail. I wanted both creators to want this new life straight away and to know that despite anything and everything that could happen, that this little being growing inside me would be loved.

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A Mystery Story

Poor DorkySon gave himself a horrible nosebleed yesterday – his first one ever. Unlike most toddler injuries, it wasn’t sustained through overenthusiastic jumping on the bouncy castle, or dive-bombing off the sofa. Nope. Not my boy. He fell over into a chair because he was laughing so hard.

The cause of his mirth was overhearing me re-telling this conversation to DorkyDad… I’m not sure that it’s falling over funny, but it did make me smile.

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Older Single Mum

‘The Well is Dry’

Older Single Mum

My Shitty Ex-Husband’s Saturday was a shocking shambles. It has taken this long to come to terms with it!

Firstly he was an hour late. Secondly, Aiden – who hears his booming Welsh voice virtually every other evening – was wildly and completely indifferent to the sight of him. (Wish it was as simple as that for me). So I couldn’t go. And thirdly, he casually informed me that ‘The well is dry,’ so he would no longer be paying maintenance.

No apologetic nuances. Nothing. Zero. Like the amount of cash cascading in to my Bank account. Zilch.

Not a brilliant way to start an afternoon.

So, suddenly…

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Not As Advertised

Read an excerpt from a FREE Christmas anthology

Not As Advertised

I’ve got together with a group of fab women writers to publish a sparkling Christmas anthology of short seasonal stories, Season’s Readings. You can download them for FREE from Smashwords in any ebook format, PDF or just read online.
I also designed the cover which I hope captures the festive feeling that will soon be grabbing us all.
Eleanor surveyed the scene of quasi-devastation in the living room. Gaudy wrapping paper torn away and then carelessly discarded, littered the floor. Presents were piled up untidily on the coffee table. And her husband of twenty years, Roger, slumped groggily in the armchair, mug of tea balanced on his rounded stomach that was wrapped in a tartan robe….

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Yellow Days

Why I’m Striking

Most of us have not joined the public sector for the money. We care about what we do and often put up with quite a bit of abuse to try and do a good job but the government can’t rely on our good will to keep us in line while they attack our ability to plan for our future and provide for our family. If all of these changes go through even the most committed public servant will be questioning whether they should be looking elsewhere for work.

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Adventures of a Middle-Aged Matron

The Curse of the Road

I like to keep the language pure in the vicarage. It degenerates occasionally when the Vicar loses his keys, but the children have developed a range of wholesome culinary curses for use in extremis. ‘Fromage frais!’ yells my daughter when Ribena streams across her homework, and ‘Fudge!’ or ‘Fried fritters!’ if we can’t find the remote control before ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ (NB: strange how they all start with ‘f’).
My efforts, however, unravel on the road. ‘Bugger!” said my then two-year-old when she grasped the wheel of her new Little Tike car. I erupted. ‘I have to say it,’ she replied reasonably. ‘I’m driving!’
White Van Man, advancing mercilessly down a narrow side streets, provokes from me adjectives that would make a docker blush. Three-lane roundabouts, unexpected filter lanes and anything involving the London North Circular turn me loud and foul and empurpled. My mother friends, contrastingly, sing along serenely behind the wheel to High School Musical and diffuse back-seat battles while negotiating three-point turns.

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The Bush Babies

Thank you Grandpa for surviving

I never met my father in law which is something that will always sadden me.

I catch glimpses of the man I think he must have been, in my husband all the time. I see the characteristics my husband clearly didn’t get from his mother – his gentleness, his compassion, his quietness and his gift of being to see the good in absolutely everything and everyone.

My girls never knew him either which is my even bigger sorrow. For them, but for him particularly. He would have loved them so much.

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Here come the girls

My Favourite Daughter

Earlier in the week I blogged about some of the questions I am asked on a daily basis. One of the ones which has most astounded me is which is your favourite child? I have been asked this a couple of times and every time I am shocked no least by the fact that they ask me with the children in hearing.
So I thought about it long and hard today.
I have finally decided which is my favourite daughter.
Today she
made a puppet which looked like me.
got so excited when she was praised she even clapped herself (just like me)
run up to me for a cuddle shouting mummy whenever I came in the room

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The call I didn’t want to get from playgroup

I feel like the smoke is starting to clear after what has probably been the worst few days of my parenting life to date. I know there are worse things to deal with, but for me the last couple of days have been my personal hell. They’ve made me really appreciate when people say that parenting is the most difficult job in the world. It most certainly is.

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